


Destiny || Haikyuu!!

by bubshie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I messed this up oops, I'm going to be hurting Sugawara so bad, Please Forgive me, Soulmate AU, how does one do tags, reader is in a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:59:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubshie/pseuds/bubshie
Summary: [ Kozume Kenma x Reader ]The chances of having a soulmate were rare — and Kenma just happened to be one of them.But out of all the billions of people the world could've chosen for a quiet and meek boy like Kenma, the universe fated him with a girl who already has a boyfriend.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. DISCLAIMER

**DISCLAIMER.**

(A/N): This book is written by _BUBSHIE_. It is a work of fiction, a fan-fiction to be specific. Therefore, the franchise or series I based my idea from is not mine.

_Haikyuu!!_ does not belong to me, nor the characters in said series. They all belong to Haruichi Furudate.

Only OCs that I _might_ use and the concept and the fan-fiction are mine.

I wrote this for everyone’s entertainment, inspiration, interests, motivation, etc. Any names, brands, places, events, and other nouns to be mentioned that exist in real life are typed in without knowledge. I apologize in advance in case I mention a name considered offensive or depressing.

Before you proceed with the book or click away, thank you so much for even clicking and I’m very glad to have interested you, even if not by much. Follows, comments and support is much appreciated. Thank you for reading and please enjoy! I hope to not disappoint.

**_WARNINGS_ **will be typed capitalized, bolded, italicized and underlined if necessary to avoid triggering audiences of certain topics.

* * *

** EXTRA INFORMATION: **

  * Kozume Kenma x Reader.



  * Angst (or at least I _tried_ to make it angst).



  * This is a short story.



  * Dedicated to my best friend, [Tea](https://www.quotev.com/teaaaaa).



  * Originally published on [Quotev](https://www.quotev.com/bubshie).



  * If you don't like it, click away. If you're only here to start trash-talking my works and me in general, _or_ my friends, please refrain from doing such. Click away because you won't gain anything from badmouthing writers and their content.



* * *

** KEY POINTS: **

(Y/n) – your name

(L/n) – last name

(E/c) – eye color

(H/l) – hair length

(H/c) – hair color

(F/c) – favorite color

(2F/c) – second favorite color

(F/f) – favorite food

More will be added along the way depending on the chapter!

Constructive criticism is welcome and much appreciated! Questions can be asked down in the comment section.

With that said, please enjoy the book!

Read more from me:

[published.](https://www.quotev.com/bubshie/published)


	2. touch

"Nekomata-sensei said we're having a practice match with Karasuno." Kuroo said, his hands tucked into his jersey's pockets.

"Oh." Kenma said, his eyes never leaving the video game console he held in his hands as his fingers were hastily pressing on the buttons.

Kuroo resisted the urge to sigh since his friend really had no intention to listen to what he wanted to say. So he smirked, "Say, Kenma, have you heard about what's going on in the internet these days?"

The pudding-haired male pursed his lips in thought, "No," he says while continuing his game, "what's up?"

"Oh, I don't know, I don't think you'd be interested..." Kuroo feigned sadness.

Kenma blinked, "Oh, then don't tell me." 

"Wait, no, I was kidding—!" Kuroo waved, laughing. 

Kenma's brows furrowed, finally pausing his game to focus on what Kuroo had to say. It better be worth it.

"The internet's been buzzing about soulmates recently. People are talking about it nonstop— them finding their other half or whatever."

"Soulmate? What's that?" Kenma asked.

"Having a soulmate is rare, but it gets everyone really excited. When you touch someone and get memories of someone else's life, it means you're soulmates with that someone. And soulmates means that you're supposed to end up with that person." Kuroo explained, trying not to smirk at Kenma's curious expression that was usually clouded with something else.

Kenma hummed, interested. "How do you know if you have a soulmate?"

With a shrug, "You don't," Kuroo grins, "isn't that what makes having a soulmate exciting?" The raven-haired boy chuckles.

Kenma inched away from his friend, "Kuroo, I'm not saying you _are_ but, are you... gay for me?" He frowned, looking at Kuroo scrutinizingly.

"WHAT—?! NO!"

* * *

You wiped off the sweat of your dedicated boyfriend who just kept on playing volleyball, even though practice was over— introducing your cute boyfriend, Sugawara Koushi.

You let out a sigh, frowning, "Koushi, aren't you tired? I know you're frustrated that Kageyama-kum took the official setter position from you but..." Your eyes traveled towards the scattered volleyball around the gymnasium.

"You're overworking yourself." You told him, and judging from your tone, Sugawara was sure you didn't approve of this.

The silver-haired male sighed, "I know, but I can't help it." He admitted, his right hand stopping you from cleaning the sweat off his face and shooting you his pretty smile, "Let's clean up then."

A full thirty minutes of you and he picking up the stray balls and in-between were kisses on the cheek when you two passed each other.

Eventually, cleaning up the court came to an end and Sugawara locked it after ensuring that the lights were all closed and you weren't trapped inside.

"Koushi," you called, making him hum. "What do you think about soulmates?" Since you were always active and browsing the Internet, you were always updated to what was popular and what was not on the internet. Right now, soulmates were the hot pick. 

"... Honestly, I'm afraid of soulmates. But what's new, right? I'm always afraid of surreal things." Your boyfriend sighed, "But I'm scared not because it's unrealistic and weird but," His hand tightly clutches yours, "I'm nervous to find out we weren't supposed to be together because the universe said so."

You smiled, leaning onto him and tightly intertwining your fingers with his, making sure not to hurt him. "Is that your way of saying 'I love you', Koushi?" You giggled, nuzzling him.

Koushi chuckled, petting your head. "I love you so much."

"Love is a strong word." You tell him, "But I love you more." You smiled.

* * *

"Thanks for playing with us!" Both teams bowed, ending the practice match with light hearts.

"Koushi! Good game!" You laughed, hugging him.

Although he returned it, "I didn't even play." He sighed, "but thank you." He petted your head with a closed-eye smile.

From afar, your loving interaction didn't go unnoticed by Kenma.

What Kuroo told him still hasn't slipped from his mind and looking at you and Koushi, he couldn't help but think if it was fate that brought you and the silver-haired male together.

"Kenma, let's go, time to wrap up." Kuroo nudged him, snapping Kenma out of his daze.

The pudding-haired boy nodded absent-mindedly and went ahead. Kuroo noticed his behavior and directed his gaze towards the couple who were giggling and blushing.

"Kenma," he called, the boy responding immediately by turning to the tall third-year. "Wanna try talking to them?" Kuroo suggested.

Kenma looked at him with wide eyes, "What? Why? They're having fun, I wouldn't want to intrude..." He said, taking a step back.

"Well, you don't look very good just watching them either. Get their number, I don't know. This isn't goodbye, you know. You're always free to have friends, Kenma. I know I'm number one, anyway." Kuroo said teasingly, continuing to believe that Kenma was staring at the couple in hopes of befriending them.

"Kuroo—"

"I'll talk to them if you're too nervous. Ah, the dude left though, so it looks like you're going to have to get the chick's number first."

"W-What?"

And so the third-year did walk over to where you were seated, taking you by surprise when some of Nekoma's players suddenly approached you.

"Kuroo, really—"

"Hey, my name is Kuroo Tetsurou. The captain of Nekoma's volleyball team. My buddy here has been staring at you and your silver-haired friend for quite a while and is desperate for some friends. You and he would get along swell, I'm sure." Kuroo worded with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Your face heated up at the fact that you were being stared at. Your (E/c) orbs landed on the smaller boy behind him who was blushing out of embarrassment and it clicked that he was the setter.

"Oh, you wanted to be friends?" You started.

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about." You giggled, "My name's (L/n) (Y/n), a second-year at Karasuno. I'm the assistant manager." You smiled, holding your hand out.

Kenma slowly and pressed his lips together, ignoring the thump in his heart before shaking hands with you.

"Kozume Kenma, second-year." He said, ignoring Kuroo's cheering from behind.

Little did everyone know this simple interaction would cause massive changes to three people's lives.


	3. epiphany

_"Milady, do enlighten me why your room is such a mess." Jesper sighed, his cerulean orbs scanning the room in detail._

_"Well, Jesper, remember when I told you that I intend to find a hobby best suited for me?" Louise asked with a hum, setting her paintbrush down on the messy palette._

_Jesper pursed his lips, "I do remember so, but I did not expect it to be painting, of all things. I would've expected it to be hockey or golf or knitting. Perhaps I don't know you well enough yet." He chuckled._

_"Hockey? That is a rather tempting suggestion, Jesper." The girl chuckled in a joking manner._

_"Only the best for you, Louise."_

_A summary: the two were in a hidden relationship— one rich of money and living the dream and one simply a servant. Even a fool could see who is who and which is which._

_"Jesper, what will you do when my parents out we are together?" Louise couldn't help but ask, her slender fingers playing with the long brown strands of her hair._

_"I get what you're getting at, and no. They won't find out."_

_Louise frowned, "It's never too late to take precautions just in case."_

_"Look, trust me, we've been quiet about it for two years now. Your parents won't find out, I promise." Jesper insisted, refusing to think about the consequences. "Besides, they entrusted you in my care._ If _they find that we are indeed in a relationship, I'm sure they will not go through such lengths simply to separate you from me." The ravenette told her in a reassuring tone._

_Louise pouted, looking away. "Still... I'm worried."_

_"You have nothing to worry about." Jesper smiled, patting Louise's head comfortingly. "You'll be fine._ We'll _be fine." He hugs her, his arms embracing the woman's body._

_"O-Ow, hold on, I'm... I can't breathe..!" Louise wheezed out, wriggling out of Jesper's hold._

_The man released her immediately, his face looking worried and frustrated that he'd hurt her. "Oh, god, I'm sorry... I-I—"_

_"Jesper, it's alright."_

_"No, it's not alright! Y-You're just so frail and weaker compared to most." Jesper stutters, looking down at his hands in horror. "I don't want to be the reason you get hurt, Louise." He choked out, his lips tightly pressed against each other._

_"Jesper..."_

_What could Louise even say at this moment? She was indeed frail and weaker compared to other people. Being born with an incurable disease and a very weak body, it wasn't an easy hurdle to jump over. The chances of Jesper accidentally hurting Louise was high._

_Louise sucked it all in and placed her two soft hands on his now-red cheeks, a smile plastered on her face before leaning in._

_"Don't worry," a peck on the forehead._

_"I'm fine," a peck on his left cheek._

_"you'll never hurt me," a peck on his right cheek._

_"I trust you," a kiss on his nose._

_"and I love you very much." Sealed with a long kiss to his lips, warm and fitting._

_"What is this?!"_

_Both Louise and Jesper snapped their heads over to the entrance to see the girl's parents gaping at them in betrayal, horror and most of all; disappointment._

* * *

"W-What—?!" You shouted, attracting the attention of everyone in the gymnasium.

Kenma was just as bewildered as you, if not more. He was looking at his hand in shock and alarm, flickering back and forth between his own and to you. 

"Oh god, what— who—? Kozume Kenma, that _is_ you, right?" You asked hastily, your breathing picking up its pace. "You're not secretly named Jesper Denbrough, r-right? _Fuck_ , tell me we're not soulmates." You begged, tears threatening to escape past your eyes.

Kenma stated at you with wide eyes, his heart racing in a mild panic. Kuroo didn't do anything; he was just as confused as you and his close friend were.

"I'm sorry, mind filling me in on what's happening here?" Kuroo asked with a frown, his hands on his hips.

Before Kenma could utter another word, Koushi appeared and he looked innocent and unknowing.

Kenma felt sick. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get out of here _fast_. He wanted to never talk to you again.

"(Y/n), you okay?" The silver-haired male asked, his hands wrapping his girlfriend in an embrace.

Kenma wanted to vomit; just hearing the word _girlfriend_ had his hair standing up on end.

**_"When you touch someone and get memories of someone else's life, it means you're soulmates with that someone. And soulmates means that you're supposed to end up with that person."_ **

Kuroo said it himself. 

_Kenma was supposed to end up with you._

You who already has a _boyfriend_. 

Kenma has never felt so confused, frustrated, pissed and scared all because of one wrong mistake the universe made.

Its all a mistake, right?

Kenma's gold eyes observed the interaction between you and Koushi— there wasn't anything unusual. There wasn't any sign that your relationship with him was falling apart.

His brows furrowed, _'so why?'_

You were just as shocked, confused and deeply upset. You didn't think you'd be one of the small population of the world that would have a soulmate.

You turned towards Koushi, his brown eyes worried for your well-being as he continued asking you if you were fine.

_No, I'm not fine._

"(Y/n), let's just head in the bus and you can rest your head on my shoulder, alright? Do you need water? Snacks? I'll get it for you, so please, don't scare me like this..." Koushi whispered, petting your hair softly as he cradled you.

Your eyes were wide and still shocked— the universe just slapped it to your face that you weren't supposed to end up with Sugawara Koushi, your boyfriend.

How the hell were you supposed to take it all in one go?

Koushi let you go and began bowing to Kuroo and Kenma in apology, to which Kuroo waved off saying it was fine since he had Kenma to take care of as well.

It wasn't a dream, you wished it was but it wasn't.

"You know you're soulmates with someone when you get memories of someone else's life after touching them, right?" You gulped, your eyes boring into Koushi's who looked so confused and concerned.

Nevertheless, he nodded slowly. 

It finally sunk in. 

Tears welled up in your eyes and your heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

You started choking and sniffling, clinging onto your boyfriend for dear life.

And even though the silver-haired setter was confused and unaware of everything wrong going on, he comforted you.

You were his first priority.

He loved you. 

You loved him. 

But you, unfortunately, were meant to fall for someone else.


	4. sweet start

**kenma's pov.**

My head was still stuck on the fact that I was soulmates with (L/n) (Y/n)- a second-year in Karasuno High School. Oh, did I forget to mention? She also has a boyfriend.

Life probably hates me, and maybe the feeling is mutual. 

I could still hear her scared voice, her teary face. She looked like she was about to cry. And honestly, maybe I was too.

I hate making people cry, and I haven't known (Y/n) for too long, but I'm sure she's a nice girl.

It made me feel so guilty.

Kuroo has been nagging at me about why I suddenly ran away. I don't want to burden him, I don't want him to feel guilty, and I don't want to feel so concerned about me. He'll probably do something about this so that we can put an end to this whole problem.

But I didn't bother saying anything.

"Oi, Kenma."

There he goes again, poking my left temple as I barely gave him a glance. "What?"

"Stop ignoring me," he said with a frown, "what happened there earlier?" He asks.

I faced the bus' window, not wanting to talk about it. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Kuroo's brows noticeably furrowed, "Hey, is it because I forced you to talk to her?" He asked before looking down, "Sorry about that. You were practically begging me to stop but I brushed you off, really, I'm sorry." He apologized.

I felt my heart clench. I really hated feeling down for making people upset.

"No, it's alright. It wasn't you." I mumbled, because it really wasn't his fault. 

I didn't know either.

"... Still, sorry."

_I don't know what I'm supposed to do._

But he knows one thing, at least.

He's going to have to talk to you about this soon.

* * *

  
Meanwhile in Miyagi prefecture, you'd placed yourself besides Koushi in the bus. You still couldn't forget the memory that flashed in your head. 

You still can't believe it.

You have a soulmate and it wasn't Koushi. 

You don't think you'll ever get past this shock.

Your boyfriend was fast-asleep for the journey back to your school and you stole a glance in his direction, a frown tugging at the corner of your lips in obvious sadness.

"Koushi..." You whispered, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. You grit your teeth, furiously wiping away the wet drops of tears that were just about to fall. 

God, you were such a crybaby. You cracked a laugh. Now only did you question why the silver-haired setter chose to stay with you.

Did he pity you? You were the one who confessed anyway. Maybe he can't reject girls, which is why you're here now, as his girlfriend.

You shook your head, shaking off those pessimistic thoughts away.

_'No. Koushi isn't like that. He's not a jerk...'_ You thought, confident that the angelic setter really did hold a special place for you in his heart.

You're not going to be wimpy and whiny like before.

You sniffled, and still had the second-year from Nekoma's name stuck in your head.

_Kozume Kenma._

You'll have to confront him about this sooner or later.

* * *

  
"Where are you going, (Y/n)?" Koushi asks, sweat dripping off his forehead as his hazel eyes followed your retreating form leaving the gymnasium.

You smiled at him, "I have to go somewhere." You replied shortly.

"Oh, hold on. I'll come with you, let me just change and-" He tried, already stepping off the volleyball court's line, ignoring Daichi and the rest who were eyeing the both of you.

You raised your two hands, brows furrowed, "No, no. It's alright. I appreciate it, Koushi." You smiled before it faltered, "But it's personal. You need to stay for practice. I already told Shimizu-san and Ukai-san that I'll be going on ahead, so I'll see you Monday, Koushi." You blew him a kiss and waved goodbye, leaving for real with your backpack slung on your shoulder.

The gray-haired male had no choice but to stay behind. Daichi was already telling him about how he could catch up with you next week. Training was more important at the time. Of course Koushi knew that, but it wasn't just volleyball that was important to him.

You were very important to the third-year too, maybe even more than the sport, itself and that was saying something.

Koushi sighed, feeling like something had changed after the practice match with Nekoma.

Something happened and that something probably made you like this.

You were being quite distant unlike before when you were so clingy and Koushi had suspected the captain or the genius setter to have done something, or anyone from Nekoma, really. 

He'll look into it later.

Right now he had to focus.

* * *

  
You were still in your school uniform and was in a hurry. Your train was going to be leaving soon. It wasn't good. 

You planned to go to Tokyo's Nekoma High, uninvited to meet up with your supposed soulmate. He just left and you were too speechless about the situation yesterday that you couldn't properly exchange contact numbers to talk about it.

You panted, already on your knees as you bit on your bottom lip. Your (E/c) orbs glared at the electrical board above, the letters displaying that the train had already departed.

You cussed, kicking dust on the cemented ground, "Dammit."

You felt yourself well up in tears again. 

_'Ugh, pathetic. Am I going to cry every time I do something wrong now?'_ You roll your eyes, wiping off the liquid.

"Oh. D-Did I come at the wrong time?"

You flinched, the familiar voice entering your ears.

You turned to see a recognizable face.

Well, well, well. Kozume Kenma decided to appear in front of you.

Did your tears magically summon him or something?

"K-Kozume-san." You stammered, intaking a sharp breath at the sight of his pudding-colored hair.

You didn't want to touch him, not again. You didn't want a repeat of what happened yesterday. Especially not in public where hundreds of judgmental and prying eyes were watching the both of you.

"Hey," he waved awkwardly, "you're... crying." He told you.

You huffed, "I-I wasn't." You defended, glaring at him before turning away from him. 

You had some kind of anger for him. Maybe it was the fact that you were soulmates with someone other than Koushi that made you kind of irritated at him. It was immature of you, really, but you couldn't help it. You were head over heels for the silver-haired setter that seeing Kenma in person just made you want to give up and never see him again.

Even if you were initially planning on visiting his school to talk about the soulmates thing with him.

"... I'm sorry." You barely heard him whisper. You slowly turned to look at him, looking down at the ground in guilt. 

"What?"

"I'm sorry. You obviously like your boyfriend a lot but I stepped in and ruined it for you." He apologized, bowing. 

Only now did you notice he was also in his uniform. He probably came here straight from Nekoma. _'What's he doing back here in Miyagi anyway?'_ You couldn't help but think. _'Is he here with the same thing I had in mind?'_

Maybe if it wasn't _actually_ real, you'd probably have made a joke about him and you actually being soulmates.

You felt your anger seeping away just a bit, seeing how genuinely bad he felt for entering your life. You sighed, "No, don't apologize. It's the world that brought us together. I don't know why but obviously, there's nothing we can do about it." You pinched the bridge of your nose, greatly disappointed at the truth.

Kenma frowned, turning away, "I don't like this either."

"I know."

"It's not that I don't like you."

"I know."

"I'm just overwhelmed."

"I know."

"You have a boyfriend who likes you very much, I'm sure."

"I know."

"You're a nice person."

"... Oh." You blushed, not expecting him to suddenly blurt that one out.

Kenma blushed at the realization of how his words could affect the both of you, "Oh, no, I meant platonically. I'm not trying to get in-between..." He explained quickly.

You chuckled, "I know."

The pudding-headed male pursed his lips before gulping, "You probably don't want to but can we grab something to eat while we're here?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure, sorry. You go and pick."

"I don't know the place."

"Oh, right." You laughed awkwardly before walking ahead to lead him towards an ice-cream stand near the train station's entrance, of course, without touching him and vice-versa.

Why an ice-cream stand? Because you don't know what the guy likes so you settled for the sweet treat instead since,

Who doesn't like ice-cream?

But the real problem gets handed over to you in a silver platter later.


	5. secret

You licked your bottom lip in concentration, watching as the pudding-haired male in front of you tried desperately to avoid meeting eyes.

"Uh..." He spoke up.

"What, does it taste bad?" You casually popped up a question instantly the moment he spoke up. It was as if you'd been waiting for him to talk.

Your eyes still narrowed to Kenma's form, analyzing every little detail he possessed, sipping on your iced (flavor) milkshake and continued staring at him, leaving the poor boy unnerved and uncomfortable.

And about the milkshake? The small stand also sells other products, ranging from ice creams to milkshakes to crepe sandwiches.

Back to it, you observed the boy silently. Blonde hair, most likely dyed judging from the black roots his hair had. Piercing golden eyes, sharp and observant. Healthy pale skin and a slightly smaller physique than most athletes you'd expect.

Kenma had no resemblance to Koushi at all, whether it be physically or mentally.

Obviously, Koushi was more social and talkative. Your boyfriend had a soft and delicate look to him.

On the other hand, Kenma had a sharp pair of golden orbs that looked like they were watching your every move. His voice was just as soft as Koushi's, if not even more and spoke in such a quiet voice.

From this distance, you could definitely see that this boy you were meant to be with was rather cute. Physically, that is. You still haven't known him long enough to be judging his personality, that much is all true.

In your head, you couldn't help comparing this setter to _your_ setter and internally argued about who was cuter, but it's not like you were going to tell him that.

It wasn't that you were attracted to Kenma romantically, he was just _cute_.

_Come on_. The universe can't force you two to be in love with each other all of a sudden. That was just ridiculous.

...

You really hoped not.

"Uhm, can you stop staring at me so intently?" Kenma finally speaks up, frowning.

You flinched and laugh awkwardly, finally looking at something else and continued sipping on your cool beverage.

"Sorry about that." Your cheeks heated up in embarrassment before clearing your throat. "So about you being my soulmate and vice-versa..." You brought up slowly, thinking maybe _he_ could continue the conversation from there.

"Go on." He said.

Well dammit, you didn't think that through.

"What are we going to do? I have a boyfriend and I'm sure a cute guy like you already has a girlfriend. We wouldn't want to—"

"I don't have a girlfriend." Kenma cut you off, making you halt your train of thought.

"Y-You don't?" You stuttered, embarrassed once more.

Kenma shakes his head in confirmation and you felt the urge to just stab yourself all over for making two mistakes within one or two minutes.

"I see. W-Well, _I_ have a boyfriend so we're going to have to do something, at least." You coughed, rubbing the back of your head.

Kenma nods, "I have a suggestion," He says.

"Mhm?"

"Every time we see each other, let's just not talk." He suggests, and it made you frown.

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" You ask him.

"I can't think of anything better." He sighs. "If you really don't want anything to progress between the both of us, then it's better if we don't talk with one another." Kenma explains thoroughly.

You put an index finger under your chin, starting the train of thought, "But hold on a second, we're _soulmates_. That'd mean whatever we might plan, destiny could already have known about it." You groaned.

Kenma 'oh'd, a silence befalling the both of you.

"There's really nothing we can do," you hopelessly clicked your tongue, massaging the bridge of your nose.

Kenma tilts his head, "Can't we try?"

You blinked at him, leaning back into your seat. "We can, but I'm sure it'd be pointless." Your brows furrow before giving him a smile, "Right then. Let's try it."

You stand up from your seat after drinking what's left from your cold drink and beckoned Kenma to follow you. The pudding-haired boy held no reluctance to his steps as he bounded over to you.

"We should head over to the train station now. You might miss the last train to Tokyo." You chimed, looking over at the boy who was just a bit taller than you.

Kenma nodded, "Yeah." He said with a small smile before it faltered and dropped, "I'm sorry again."

You stopped walking, "Stop apologizing." You sighed, "I know you feel guilty since you think you're interfering with my life, kind of, but it's not your fault. None of it was your fault and neither is it mine." You tell him.

Kenma looked at you, "But, if only I'd convinced Kuroo even more..." He trailed off, frowning deeper.

You didn't even know what to say anymore so you took a sharp breath in and slapped your palms to his cheeks to calm him down, "Even if you convinced him, we'd still have met. Like I said, destiny pulled us together. There's no crawling out of it." You firmly said.

Kenma stayed silent.

"Yes, it's difficult for me. But don't go throwing words at yourself for ruining me and Koushi. It was destiny, alright? We were fated to meet either way." You gently removed your palms from his cheeks.

But before you could do so, your hands were encased with a warm pair of hands— those soft hands belonging to no other than Kenma himself who led your palms back to his now-red cheeks.

"Uhm, thank you." He says in a soft whisper, his lips twitching as if it didn't know if it wanted to form a smile or a worried face.

His hands were on top of yours, no sign of pulling his from yours that were resting on his blushing cheeks.

In a split second, you felt your heart thump and race faster than ever. Your vision glowed and became colorful but most importantly, the both of you started to grow dizzy.

Eventually, dizziness led to headaches again and the both of you fell down to the ground from the migraines the result of touching each other caused.

Fortunately, a familiar person walking by had recognized the both of you— you, especially. Seeing both you and Kenma passed out on the ground, he tilted his head to the side and made cracking noises before pulling onto your probably-unconscious body and Kenma's.

The both of you were mumbling and Asahi heard the gist of it; the two of you were having some kind of groggy conversation but he wasn't blessed with good enough hearing to decipher the whole convo of mumbles.

The adult-looking male dug into his pants' pocket, shoveling out the keys for his home. Soon, he dug them out and shoved the jingly tool from its place and turned it, unlocking his home.

The moment he stepped in, you started shaking and Asahi had to drop you from how wriggly you were being. It seemed that the Nekoma setter was also in the same situation.

The man adorning the goatee furrowed his brows.

"Claire..!"

"Rupert..!"

Asahi's brows shot up, the both of you that were once unconscious woke up in cold sweat, breathing heavily.

Now that he thought about it, the same thing happened to you during the practice match with Nekoma.

"(L/n)-san?" He called, getting your attention.

You snapped your head towards him in a hurry, "Azumane-kun? What—? How are you here? How are _we_ here!" You asked, gesturing to the boy that's already woken up, stirring slightly as his eyes fluttered open.

The brunette tilted his head, observing the both of you.

The two of you experienced the same thing during the practice match. Right now too. Sudden headache? Wasn't Noya saying something about soulmates experiencing things like this too—?

Asahi pieced two and two and it hit him _bad_.

His eyes widened and pointed a finger at the both of you, "(L/n)-san, Kozume-san?! Y-You two are—?!"

"Azumane-kun, please don't tell Koushi!" You cut him off before he could say the word, bowing and even getting down to your knees.

"H-Huh?! Suga-san would only be sadder if you keep it for too long!" Asahi responded, concerned and alarmed that the girlfriend of his trusted friend had a soulmate.

It was just a hypothesis and could've been a false accusation due to his never-ending cowardice and anxiety but your reaction to the matter wiped off his doubt in an instant.

You frowned, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. "I-I know! But please, let me tell him, myself! I-It's a hard secret to keep but...!" You choked.

The muscular man immediately had a siren going off in his head, telling him he'd made a girl cry— you, their precious assistant manager too! Sugawara would kill him if he found out.

Asahi definitely will _not_ be unsealing his lips about this.

* * *

By the time you got to the train station with Kenma, the last train had already departed, unfortunately.

You two were far apart now too, physically, to avoid another headache caused by those memories.

"You missed your train..." You muttered, sighing.

Kenma slouched even more of that was possible, "I'll just text Kuroo to come get me. You can—"

"It's already nine o'clock. You're not going to be staying here alone. Let's go." You nodded over to the opposite direction.

Kenma knew what you were implying and immediately opposed to it. He furrowed his brows, "I thought we agreed on not talking to each other. Me going to your house will definitely foil the plan." He said seriously.

You rolled your eyes, "Would you rather stay here alone? Kuroo-kun might already be asleep." You noted.

Kenma pursed his lips, "Oh you're right."

"Well? Let's go." You walked ahead, Kenma just following a few meters behind you.


	6. late night

You smoothly petted the dark blue comforter you'd laid out for Kenma. You were lucky that your parents were out. If they found out you had taken a boy home — a stranger to them, no less — they'd most likely lecture you about how the world is a horrible place and the horrid things it can do to you.

Maybe not too much, but you could hear their confused inhumane screeching just at the sight of Kenma's unique hair.

"Kozume-san," you called him, beckoning him over to you before standing up from your kneeling position and gave him a sheepish smile, "You can sleep on the bed. I'll lay on the futon."

The pudding-haired boy's eyes widened, shaking his head immediately to turn down your idea. "No, you can't sleep on the ground. It'll hurt your neck." Kenma noted to you.

You chuckled, "You're the guest here." 

Kenma looks away, "You really are a nice person."

"How many times have you told me that already?" You say, chuckling as you rubbed your nape with a sheepish smile on your face. "But thanks."

Kenma blushes faintly, "Sugawara-san is very lucky to have you." He brings up all of a sudden.

You felt your heart stop at the remembrance of your situation, "Kozume-san, can you... stop bringing that up? It makes it harder for me to move past that we're soulmates." You tell him with gritted teeth, not meaning to offend him, of course.

Kenma's brows furrowed, "Sorry."

"Do you still feel guilty?" You ask him, noticing how Kenma avoided eye contact.

You smiled comfortingly, handing him a cotton blanket with cute cat patterns. "You can call me (Y/n). Will that relieve you just a bit from your worries?" You say before wrapping your own blanket around your form, just about ready to doze off on the futon below.

Kenma remained silent, a smile slipping on his face as he. It did relieve him just a bit.

"You can call me Kenma then."

Silence passed between the both of you and unawarely let time ticked till it was 11pm.

You released an exasperated sigh, as if you forgot how to sleep. "Kenma?" You called after a whole three hours.

"....What?" He asked in a mumble, the blanket probably muffling his voice. But hearing his voice gave you the go-sign to continue talking.

"I'm... scared." You admitted.

He didn't say anything.

You sniffed, finally letting your real feelings into the limelight. You were _scared_ , you made that quite obvious already when you and he found out.

But to tell Kenma out loud, you had never done. He knew but inside his head, maybe he wanted you to tell it to him directly. That you were scared—afraid.

"Koushi... What would he feel when he finds out? He's always smiling and telling me he's alright. But when he finds out I'm keeping our bond a secret, there's no telling how he'll react. I'm just scared. I'm sad and I want to cry. I know this is so selfish of me." You choked, pressing your lips together to prevent your sad noises.

"... You can cry." His soft voice resonated. Kenma had nothing else to say. Letting you cry was the best response he could've given without stuttering or taking too long.

Letting you cry would help you tomorrow and let you face the next day with a clear head and goal in mind.

"... Thanks." You wheeze before letting out your whimpering and tears out.

After a whole three or four minutes of your quiet crying, Kenma silently listening in, you finally sighed, drying up your tears and smiling peacefully. "Kenma," said boy hummed, "I've been mistreating you, huh? The moment I found out we were soulmates, I blamed it on you out of instinct. I'm sorry." You genuinely apologised, rolling over the futon to face the bed.

Kenma stared at you from above, a smile painting his face. "That's alright." And for a moment, the moon Illuminated his face and his piercing cat-like eyes looked soft and warm as he stared at you. Life was screaming at you that this boy was your soulmate, alright.

You blushed, blinking rapidly before turning away from him again. "R-Right, don't you have anything to vent about? Tell your experiences to me? I-I feel like I'm not letting you express yourself since I ramble too much about my problems." You chuckle, internally praying the blush on your cheeks go away.

Kenma laid still in thought, "Oh... Nothing interesting really... Me and Kuroo have been friends for a long time. We go way back. I don't know what else to tell you, honestly." He sighs.

You giggled, "There's got to be _something_! It's impossible to have a boring life when you've got tons of fun people around you."

"Well, other than Kuroo, our team is very precious to me. They're all very nice people. There's this one first-year, he's really tall but he sucks so much at volleyball..." Kenma went on from there, his voice was so soft and quiet but also clear.

You would often make jokes and add side-comments to make him relax and tell you more, assuring him that it was alright to drone on and on about his life before he met you.

"... And so that was when Nekomata-sensei suddenly announced that we had a practice match with Karasuno. I think I heard him say it was because his old friend's grandson was there coaching the new volleyball team." Kenma sighed. "My life was boring until I found out I had a soulmate." He tells you honestly.

You raise a brow, "Is that a good thing?" You smile teasingly at him.

"... It should've been." He chuckles.

You smiled at him sadly, "I'm sorry."

Kenma shakes his head, "Don't be."

And after that, it was quiet like before. Your yawn that you were trying so desperately to keep inside finally couldn't resist it and you just had to. His soft voice made you sleepy.

Kenma looked at you, "You should go to sleep."

"Mm... right. Goodnight, Kenma." You smiled at him one last time with droopy eyes before closing them and sleeping soundly.

Kenma smiles, "Yeah, goodnight, (Y/n)."

* * *

  
  


Asahi couldn't get his mind off of you and who you confirmed is your soulmate. _Kozume Kenma_. The second-year setter from Nekoma High School.

The ace inconspicuously glanced over to Sugawara who was practicing the best of his ability even though he wasn't playing as a regular anymore.

As the image of you crying and Koushi's heart breaking flashed into his head, Asahi couldn't help but cry as well. Because of this, Daichi and Sugawara surrounded him. Nishinoya, of course, was no help and told him to 'man up'.

On the bench was you with Shimizu, smiling and chatting with her while a clipboard and pen were in your hands as if nothing happened yesterday.

Asahi was, naturally, confused. He'd have thought you'd be more nervous seeing the gray-haired male but maybe Sugawara knew already?

Asahi's brows furrowed, _'No, that's not possible. (L/n)-san begged me to keep it secret to Suga.'_ He thought, wondering what made you rather chillax today.

Then he remembered you leaving his house with the pudding-haired Nekoma boy. Could it be?? Did something happen between you and that Kenma guy??

Suga made his way towards you but you had threw a terrible excuse that Noya was calling you and left the setter in the dust.

Judging from Suga's face, he obviously knew _something_ was up. And the silver-haired boy was not going to give up.

Asahi gulped in nervousness and excused him from the gym, telling that he needed to wash his face off.

Looks like he'll have to keep this a secret too.

Suga's behavior.


	7. soothe

"Well, well, well... Looks like someone didn't come back last night." Kuroo intentionally says out loud, making Kenma flinch and slowly turn to the messy bed-headed male who appeared to be smirking at the second-year setter. "Where'd you go, Kenma? You didn't even attend volleyball practice."

Kenma avoided eye contact, heat rising to his cheeks in embarrassment at the remembrance of last night. Although nothing bizarre had happened, it would still be embarrassing to reveal that he left Nekoma High earlier than intended just to take a train to Miyagi and see (L/n) (Y/n), the assistant manager of Karasuno's volleyball club.

Not only that, but he also slept at a girl's house. A _girl's_ house. **_Alone_**.

And he felt beyond embarrassed.

Fortunately, his face didn't show whatever crisis he was screeching about in his head and simply pretended he didn't hear his friend.

Kuroo blinked, patiently waiting for Kenma to answer. But he didn't.

So he began to guess, "Did your mom need you for something?"

No reaction.

"An emergency?"

No reaction.

"Kidnapped?"

No reaction.

"Were you pulled against your will inside a bar?"

No reaction.

Kuroo hums, "Did you... go somewhere _I_ can't know?"

A reaction; Kenma's face contorted into that of mild surprise but in a split second, he reverted back to his neutral, indifferent expression.

But that quick moment was all Kuroo needed to know Kenma was hiding something from him. And usually, he'd be respecting his privacy and leave him alone, but only because Kenma would tell him 'I'll tell you one day', but right now he was being quiet.

Of course he was worried.

"Kenma," said boy didn't even glance, "what happened? Where did you go yesterday?" Kuroo was beginning to feel more concerned. 

Yes, Kenma was quiet, but not to this extent. The pudding-head won't even open his mouth to explain- not even a hint!

Kuroo sighs, "Fine, don't tel-"

"I went to Miyagi yesterday." Kenma finally answered.

"What?" Kuroo thought and expected a lot of things, but...

Kenma going to Miyagi prefecture?? For _what_?

"I... had to do something." Kenma continues, a blush coating his cheeks lightly.

Kuroo narrows his eyes at the setter, "'Do something'?" He echoes before his eyes widened in disbelief, "Hold on, are you-?!"

Kenma stiffens, "Y-You figured it out?" He stammers, out of his character.

Kuroo nods slowly, still not believing that his friend...

His friend is-

"That's right... I'm soulmates with (Y/n)."

... _gay_. Or not.

Kuroo's eyebrows jumped out of his face completely, his soul probably leaving him to be a blank white shell.

"WHAT?? _'S-Soulmates'_?? With (L/n)-san?? S-She has a boyfriend, doesn't she? Wait a second- so you're not gay for Hinata-" Kuroo was very confused.

So confused, he was on the verge of passing out.

"'G-Gay'? For Shoyo??" Kenma was flabbergasted, surprised but at the same time not, at what Kuroo had concluded. Kenma put on a disgusted face, "You assumed I swing the other way?"

The captain shrugs, sweat of awkwardness falling off his temple, "Well, you are close to him, aren't you?"

"... I suppose so."

"So... you have a soulmate." The third-year decided it was better to drive back the conversation to the real topic.

Kenma nodded.

"And that's (L/n)-san."

Another nod from the setter.

"... When did this happen?"

"Since the practice match with Karasuno."

Kuroo's eyes bulged out of his head the moment he heard it. "I-It's been that long?"

Kenma nodded, his brows twitching as he tried not to let his friend's reaction affect him. "It hasn't been _that_ long for you to react like this..."

Kuroo crossed his arms and judgmentally stared at Kenma who inched away, " _Three days_ isn't long to you?"

The second-year setter didn't bother answering. To him, it wasn't that long, honestly. 

It probably felt very long to Kuroo, especially since Kenma wasn't even talking about what happened.

The captain sighs, "Wait," his eye shot up in realization. "(L/n)-san... She's your soulmate, right?"

Kenma already knew where this was going. He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nostrils, "She has a boyfriend—"

"OH MY GOD! SERIOUSLY??"

Kenma glared at Kuroo, "Stop shouting, Kuroo."

"Okay, okay, but seriously, oh my god—!" The ravenette had no idea how to handle this.

He'd handled his sad teammates, cheered himself up, heck, he even befriended Yaku despite being opposites!

But this? This was a whole new level of **_'holy shit_** '.

"We agreed on not talking to each other." Kenma brings up all of a sudden.

"Eh? Why?"

* * *

  
  
"So... (L/n)-san... Y-You're soulmates with Kozume-san from Nekoma." Asahi came up to you, fidgety and nervous.

You smiled crookedly at him, "Yeah..." before it faltered and turned into a worried frown, "Is Koushi getting suspicious?" You ask while glancing over at your boyfriend.

The third-year ace frowns, "When are you going to tell him?" He asks.

"... I'll do it right now... I hope." You say to him, gathering a portion of courage from last night before walking over to your boyfriend who was talking to Hinata and Kageyama. "Hey, boys. Uhm, may I excuse Koushi for a bit?"

The gray-haired setter stared at you, wondering what made you walk up to him all of a sudden after avoiding and ignoring him for the past day. He shook the thoughts off and smiled at the freak duo, "Just try what I told you two. I'll be watching after, alright?" 

The first-years nod and enter the court, trying out a new technique to use against an opponent for the upcoming Inter-high tournament.

Now that you've excused your boyfriend and had all his attention on you,

You had no idea how to bring it up.

"Koushi." 

"(Y/n)."

You both said at the same time. Your eyes widened, "O-Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to—"

Koushi shakes his head, "You go first..."

"No, I insist! You go first." You laugh awkwardly.

The vice-captain sighs, smiling sadly. "If you say so..." You nod. "(Y/n), you've been being kind of distant lately. Ever since the practice match with Nekoma, you've been avoiding me. Is there something wrong? Did Nekoma's captain and setter do or say something scary to you?" Koushi asks worriedly, ready to throw hands if it was the case.

Truthfully, he wasn't going to actually fight them. He'll probably just talk to them, stutter a bit, maybe but that's about it. Confrontation was one of his greatest fears.

You knew this.

"I'm really _really_ worried, (Y/n). I missed those times you were always clinging to me, telling me you loved me more than your favorite food. I missed those times you'd hold my hand to soothe me. I know I'm probably being dramatic here— I mean, it's only been like two days, and _I'm_ the one being clingy here. I-I just really miss you." The setter would chuckle in-between but they sounded sad and forced.

It made it harder for you to tell him.

In a few seconds, tears were once again ready to fall from your eyes.

This made your boyfriend panic, "Ahh! Don't cry. It's not your fault. You probably had better and more important things to worry about!" Koushi frantically wiped your tears that were threatening to fall with his thumb, blinking rapidly. 

"(Y/n), you don't have to tell me if you don't want to..." Koushi said that with a smile.

But to you, you only saw hurt and sadness.

Because you didn't trust him enough.

**_No._ **

You trusted him more than you did yourself.

"Koushi..." You sobbed, "I'm really sorry..!" You grit your teeth, not making a move to wipe your tears, push him away, or hug him. 

You felt like dirt.

You had to tell him soon.

"Koushi, the truth is—" You choked, the words not planning to escape past your lips. "I-I... god, I'm sorry— i-it's because—" 

No matter how much you tried, you couldn't say it.

The ache in your heart was too painful, you couldn't speak.

Your boyfriend noticed this and pulled his hands from your face, and instead wrapped them on your body.

This made you cry harder.

"Koushi—"

"Shh, don't tell me (Y/n)." He smoothed your head, hugging you to his chest while you sniffled and hiccuped. "I love you so much," his voice cracked, "that's why it hurts me so much that you're crying." He confesses. "So stop crying, (Y/n). Smile." He tried to grin.

You looked up and saw his famous grin that was trying its best to hold up in a comforting manner.

The whole volleyball club watched the both of you, feeling unsure of what to do. So they didn't do anything.

Koushi seemed to be on the verge of crying too.

You didn't want that.

It'd be more painful.

So you smiled, although it hurt.

Because you couldn't tell him the truth.

The courage you'd helped gained from Kenma was wasted and yo felt the bravery you once felt crumble to nothingness.

You felt worse.

Sugawara sent a quiet signal to Shimizu who nodded, walking over to the both of you. She taps your shoulder and smiles comfortingly, handing you a face towel. 

"Let's go to the restroom, (Y/n)-chan. Wash your face and go rest back home for the day." She says to you in her soft voice.

You complied, letting go of Koushi once again, following Kiyoko to the restroom.


	8. unaware

_ **WARNINGS.** _

_\- death_

* * *

  
  
_Two friends stare into each other's eyes, quiet and still._

_The girl blinked._

_Rupert clapped immediately and grinned widely, pointing at his friend in victory. "HA! You blinked!"_

_Claire pouted, crossing her arms with a huff, "This isn't fair. The wind is always headed towards me. How can I not blink?" She defended herself._

_"No, you just have low resistance." Rupert smirked._

_The blonde hit his arm playfully, "I don't!" She insisted._

_"You do!" He playfully remarked._

_The two childhood friends laughed in synchronization, adoring the time they had together._

_"What do you wanna play next?" Claire asks her friend, her feet swinging in a bored manner while she sat on the swing._

_The two were in the park, bored inside their homes, deciding to hang out with each other outside to play Uno, play the staring contest, just roam around the playground, or waste money on fatty food._

_Rupert hummed in thought, his thumb and index supporting his chin. He then snapped his fingers and smiled brightly, "Let's play a game of Truth or Dare!"_

_Claire evidently showed her disgust and exhaustion, "Oh come on! That game ruin a lot of friendships! Does ours mean nothing to you?" She exaggeratedly cries._

_Rupert rolls his eyes, "Stop being so melodramatic." He sighed, "Besides, I've always wanted to play that game with you!" He said._

_The blonde simply sighed in defeat, "Alright, alright, we can play it."_

_Rupert raised his fist to chest-level, Claire following his actions and both bounced their fists._ _Scissors and rock, respectfully._

_The boy pouted, disappointed he'd be the first to get asked the dreadful question. He looked up and saw Claire smirking, "Truth or dare?"_

_The raven-haired male huffed, crossing his arms, "Truth."_

_Claire hums, "You had a crush back in Hannah right? Why? She was a total pain in the neck."_

_Rupert raises a brow, "Why? You jealous or something?"_

_The girl, flabbergasted at his accusation, recoiled in embarrassment, "_ 'Jealous' _?! Why would I be jealous of such a snake!?" She hissed. "Also, stay focused!_ I _asked_ you _."_

_Rupert couldn't help but laugh, "Alright, alright. Where'd you even hear that I'd like that sissy hoe?" He rolled his eyes, gagging at the thought dating the girl._

_Claire's brows jumped, "Y-You didn't like her?"_

_"No, I didn't."_

_For some reason, Claire sighed in relief. This wasn't unnoticed by Rupert who grinned,_

_"Oh? Claire? Do you, perhaps, have a crush on me?" It was just a guess, a harmless joke; but when he saw a blushing face, an embarrassed expression, a flustered mess._

_He'd thought wrong._

_In an instant, his mouth moved on its own,_

_"No, you don't mean...?" Rupert mumbled in disbelief._

_"... Is it wrong to have a crush on your best friend?" Claire asked in a hushed whisper._

_Rupert took a step back and tensely rubbed the back of his neck, "I-I got to go."_

_Claire's eyes widened and she quickly grabbed a hold of his wrist, "No! Don't leave me like this, Rupert! I know you don't like me, but please reject me properly!"_

_Rupert grinned but it looked forced, "Claire..." He sounded sad. "I-I..."_

_He ran away._

_He ran away so fast._

**_Claire let him leave._ **

**_Claire let him run outside the park._ **

**_Claire let him reach the highway._ **

_"RUPERT!"_

**_Claire let him..._ **

_Rupert looked back, tears disrupting his vision, "CLAIRE!"_

**_Claire let him die._ **

_And only when he died, did he realize he liked her back._

* * *

"Are you alright now?" Koushi asked his girlfriend whose tears had now long dried up.

You refused to go home even after washing your face off in the restroom with Kiyoko, begging to stay after school just to walk home with him. You smiled and nodded slightly, "Yeah, I'm doing good. Thanks." She then looked down, "A-And sorry for crying on your jersey..." You mumble.

The soft gray-haired setter looked at you in shock, his brows furrowing in an instant, "Why are you apologizing, (Y/n)? Don't be sorry!" He frowns in concern. "My jersey doesn't worth as much as you. You're much more important to me, (Y/n)."

"But Koushi..."

"Shh, like I said, you don't have to tell me." He smiled softly at you, pulling you back into his arms, hugging you. 

The entire club watched it all happen, although most choosing to respect it and pay no attention to it. 

You nodded, leaning onto your boyfriend for warmth and comfort. "Thank you..." 

You really were incredibly lucky to have him.

* * *

  
"I'm telling you, I didn't say or do anything to her which could threaten or hurt her." Kuroo sighed, looking at Sugawara Koushi firmly in the eye. "Your girlfriend is safe, Sugawara-san."

The pretty setter simply shook his head, "It's not that I'm accusing you of planned murder or whatever, Kuroo-san." He chuckled lightheartedly. "I'm just worried about (Y/n) because ever since you and your friend approached her back during the practice match, she hasn't been herself lately." Koushi confesses sadly.

Kuroo raised a brow, "How so?" Kuroo would use this chance to find out what was going on with you. Fortunately, your boyfriend called him up himself which would be a good opportunity to know how things were faring in your side.

"She's been distant and crying almost everyday. She apologizes every time and I don't even know why. She's... not the same."

Kuroo's eyes widened, kind of expecting that but he still couldn't believe it. On Kenma's side, the boy had only become quieter than a mouse. He wanted to know how you were doing, but Kenma had his lips sealed regarding your situation. Call Kuroo meddlesome or nosy or whatever - he wanted to help.

"That's... " Judging from your boyfriend's confused tone, the messy bed-headed third-year knew you hadn't told him yet. "Sad." He continued.

He'll have to keep his lips closed about it as well.

Koushi nods sadly, "It is. It breaks my heart to see her crying." He admits, "It makes me want to cry too. Do I sound weird?" He laughed, but it was forced and his eyes were glistening with tears ready to fall off any second now. "It's pretty rude of me to contact you just for me to tell you my problems, huh? I'm sorry." He sighed.

Kuroo looked outside the window, "No, I understand where you're coming from."

"You do?"

"... Well, I don't but I kind of do." Kuroo sheepishly said, rubbing his nape awkwardly.

Koushi raises a brow, "What do you mean?"

"I-I meant like I know how it feels when your girl cries and... all that." Kuroo sighs.

"You have a girlfriend?" Sugawara couldn't help but ask, rather surprised the Nekoma team captain had a girlfriend.

"She's a playful flirty little thing, I swear (*)." He clicked his tongue, but fond at the image of his girlfriend.

"What?"

"What?"

Koushi shook his head, waving his hand to dismiss the weird topic. "Back to it, you had nothing to do with it? It was just a coincidence that she started crying after the practice match?" He asked one last time.

Kuroo nodded, "That's right."

Koushi, although still suspicious, nods and smiles warmly. "Alright then. Thanks for sparing some time for this."

Kuroo shakes his head and shoots the silver-haired setter a smile, "No, no, it's alright. I hope your girlfriend is okay." He stands up from the chair, "Does (L/n)-chan know you came to Tokyo today?"

The setter looks away, "No."

"Huh." He mumbles.

So you were crying.

You were crying for having a soulmate.

* * *

_(a/n): was referring to (Y/n) of a Haikyuu!! x Reader I wrote back then but discontinued - i **will** be posting a rewrite of it soon tho!_


	9. your weekend

It was a weekend and you were with your boyfriend on a date as an apology for distancing yourself from him. You were the one who asked him out and he agreed (very excitedly, might you add). You managed to convince the teacher to excuse you and your boyfriend for a week with the obvious lie of your mother bed-ridden, while Koushi would be with you to serve as your emotional support.

So now, you two were in a mall in Tokyo for your date. The process was simple; watch a movie, eat lunch, walk around, go window-shopping and buy something for the both of you to keep as a memory since it wasn't everyday you get a trip to Tokyo for a week. 

Right now you two were in the middle of doing step three- walk around. The date was going very smoothly and you kind of felt proud to be leading this date and _not_ mess it up.

Your hand was intertwined with Koushi's, swinging both yours and his to show how happy you are to be spending time with him.

For a whole day, you'd forgotten about your predicament with Kenma despite being in the big city.

Well, of course, that is if the world would _let_ you.

With the two of you being soulmates, you'd have to bump into each other at some point. That meaning your date with Koushi that was running so smoothly would be interrupted because of fate later on.

Oh, sorry. You meant right now.

Your eyes connected with a pair of gold irises, widening at the sight of Kenma's uniquely-colored hair along with a taller boy who adorned messy black hair. He seemed to notice you too, as you observed his intriguing eyes widen along with yours.

You stopped walking all of a sudden, your boyfriend stopping just beside you. He threw you a confused look, "(Y/n)? What's wrong?" Sugawara asked.

You turned to him immediately and grinned, "U-Uhm! Koushi, I-I want to go check out that department store over there! I feel like I'm going to end up buying something there." You pointed at a random store, which happens to be a department store. It was better to go in there than risk getting your reactions around Kenma seen by Koushi in the midst of a crowd.

"Oh, sure! I'll buy whatever it is you want for today." Koushi grins, jerking a thumb to his chest. "Rely on me (Y/n)." 

It sounded innocent and sweet of him, but his words left you guilty once more. He wanted you to rely on him yet your body refused to tell him you had a soulmate. It felt disturbing.

You smile sadly, "Koushi... _I_ invited _you_ out on a date. I'll pay for both of us."

He sighs, "Whoever gets their wallet out first?" He challenged, smirking. 

"Sure, sure... I do have to warn you though, Koushi. My hands are fast in grabbing things." You grin.

Koushi's face heated up immediately and dirty thoughts ran inside his head. You really didn't think he could think of such things, but well, he still _is_ a boy. 

That didn't mean that it didn't make you just as embarrassed though. You raised your head again after calming the rapid beating of your heart, looking around to see Kenma nowhere in sight.

The pudding-haired male had also disappeared somewhere, leading his friend probably. You didn't know where he went, but you had an itchy feeling that he and you would bump into each other sooner than you think.

You held Koushi's hand, taking him by surprise and rendering him speechless and even more flustered. But nevertheless, he smiled and tightened it.

He really loved it when you did that.

You went over to a section of cute blouses with your unaware boyfriend. You picked a pure white blouse with truffles on the sleeves and a thick dark blue string tied into a ribbon by the chest area, "Ah! This looks cute!" You held up the shirt to show Koushi, smiling at him.

"Does it?" He smiled, "Stay here then. I'll get a basket for you to put your clothes in." He pushed you gently onto the cushion benches prepared in case a buyer gets tired from walking around before walking away to find an empty basket.

You stood up immediately though, roaming around to look for another pretty top to wear in the future.

"Oh." 

You turn your head, your form freezing at the sight of Kenma. "K-Kenma?" You stammered, surprised to see him. You bid farewell to him in good terms, but you really really couldn't risk Koushi finding out.

"(Y/n)..." He mumbled in disbelief. "I knew you'd come in here too but... It's just creepy to know we think almost alike." The pudding-headed male mutters.

"Kenmaaa!-- oh, there you are... with (L/n)-chan?" Kuroo appeared surprised to see you, "What are you-" he turned to Kenma and pieces two and two together. He went blank faced. "Are you two--?"

"No." You and Kenma responded simultaneously.

Just after that, your boyfriend had returned from getting a shopping basket which didn't take that long. His hazel orbs caught onto the boys from Nekoma's volleyball team and he stiffened visibly.

He slowly inched over to you, flashing a smile briefly to the two, "Here's the basket." You put the blouse inside and smiled, thanking him. 

"Kuroo-san, Kozume-san. What are you two doing here?" Koushi asks, curious and also surprised to see his suspects in the same mall his girlfriend and he were in. Though, he shouldn't be surprised. The both of you were in Tokyo after all, their city.

"Just hanging out." Kuroo answered simply, smiling. "While we're here and bumped into each other though, let's make the most of it! Wanna tag along?" He grins.

Koushi smiles unsure, glancing over at your direction, "Well," seeing no sign of distress of nervousness on your face, "if that's alright with you." He agreed.

"Of course it's alright with us, huh Kenma?" Kuroo nudges his second-year best friend, to which the meek boy only nodded quietly.

Koushi turns to you, "And you (Y/n)?"

You gave him a thumbs up, "That's alright with me."


	10. their relationship

You didn't know what you were thinking when you agreed to it nonchalantly. But what you _do_ know now is that you regret it.

Koushi and Kuroo were chatting and looked like they had a lot in common to have been laughing. On the other hand, you were with Kenma, walking silently beside him with your hands clutching onto your sling bag nervously. 

You've gotten comfortable enough around Kenma to have been only calling him by his first name but you can't act that way with your boyfriend around. He was smart enough to catch on to your movements. Heck, you were pretty sure he already had an answer to his question, 'why do you keep crying'.

Kenma nodded however, respecting your decision and keeping things polite between the two of you. But it wasn't as if he could avoid it. He had to tell you about it.

"Kuroo knows we're soulmates." 

He had to tell you that another person knows.

Your heart leaped out of your chest the moment you heard him say it. It felt like all the oxygen you'd been breathing in were all abruptly escaping your lungs.

Someone knows?

Your head snapped over to glance in Koushi and Kuroo's direction, thankfully, none of them seemed out of character and had concerning reactions so it looked like you and Kenma were safe for now.

You turned to Kenma, "Did you tell him?"

He closes his eyes, shaking his head, "He found out."

"Kuroo-senpai is too observant. Looks like he's not just good in volleyball." You sigh, "Can we trust him?"

Kenma nods, "I trust him."

You stared at him silently before letting a calm and relaxed smile show on your face softly. "Alright. I'll trust him because you trust him."

"Don't say that," Kenma blushes, making you tilt your head in confusion.

"Why?" You ask, feeling dense and embarrassed all of a sudden, not knowing why.

"if you keep saying things like that," Kenma continues in a bashful manner, "we might actually end up together. T-Try not to say anything embarrassing or anything that sounds intimate or something that may be perceived as something else by others." The pudding-headed boy tells you in a berating manner, stuttering which you just couldn't take seriously.

You hum in agreement, "I see... I'll try that." You gave him a crooked smile and a lame thumbs up.

Kenma sighs and nods. 

Although your little talk with Kenma was quiet, Koushi noticed it. For someone who gets nervous during times like these, he was being very observant of his surroundings. He noticed it. Your tiny grin that showed how much you were trying to restrain the excitement you felt with the pudding-haired boy. 

His heart clenched, his attention now wholly focused on you and no longer on Kuroo droning about how Karasuno's captain was a 'big crafty guy'. However, just like the gray-haired setter, Kuroo was very observant too despite rambling on about Daichi.

With a tap to Koushi's shoulder, Kuroo grinned. "Hey, wanna go grab a snack?"

Sugawara raises a brow, "I thought we were already on our way to buy lunch?"

The messy-haired male shrugs nonchalantly, "Scratch that. Besides," he jerks a thumb to a nearby donut shop, "they have that one famous donut store here. here."

Koushi really wanted to snatch your hand and guide the both of you out of there, but it felt like he was trapped in an invisible box. He narrowed his eyes, his gut telling him there was something suspicious lacing the air. There was something going on but he just couldn't pinpoint what. His hazel-hued eyes darted over to you and he really didn't want to accuse you of such a thing but were you, possibly, cheating on him?

It felt impossible and unimaginable to him. You were a sweetheart and even the one who came to _him_ , yourself.

He just couldn't see it happening.

You then moved from Kenma's side and caught his swinging hand, smiling up at him innocently.

Koushi's heart melted, a smile resting on his face.

He really couldn't see it happening.

* * *

"Gah! These donuts really are the best in the world!" Kuroo exclaims, munching on another glazed donut before looking over to the boy seated beside him. "Seriously, Kenma, you really don't want to try one?"

The pudding-haired boy shakes his head quietly, not sparing a glance towards his friend. "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer anyway." He politely refuses.

You bit on your own munchkin-sized donuts, ordering only what you could finish. Although there was a possibility you could finish an entire bucket of it your own, you didn't want to look like a hungry fat mess in front of your boyfriend and soulmate. You could care less about what Kuroo thought of you.

Well, sort of.

The only people who had an idea were Asahi and Kuroo. While you trusted Asahi enough to not blabber and say something wrong, you couldn't exactly say the same for Kuroo.

If you made a mistake in 'impressing' or meeting his expectations for his lovely best friend's future to-be (although you highly dislike being with anyone romantically other than your boyfriend), then your plans of keeping the secret between you and Kenma in the down-low would have to bid goodbye.

"Koushi," you called your boyfriend, a round chocolate butternut-flavored donut in-between your index and thumb. A smile was settled on your face as you raised the donut to his lips, "Say 'ahhh'." You tell him sweetly, feeding him the munchkin with the same hand you used to pick your own.

The silver-haired setter was nothing more than happy to accept, letting you shoot the little dessert into his mouth, munching it before swallowing after chewing a bit. He grins at you, "It tastes sweet."

You blushed faintly, a smile slipping crookedly on your face in embarrassment, "I-I can't believe I just did that," you giggled.

Koushi grins, "I liked it," and with a wink that sent your heart into a frenzy, "only you can affect me this much." He cheesily tells you, a blush of his own coating his cheeks.

"Oi," Kuroo's brow twitched, "stop flirting in front of us." He was starting to regret having you and your boyfriend tag along now. A golden orb peeked beside him though, eyeing Kenma who paid little attention to his soulmate and her undoubtedly the most loving boyfriend ever. "Is this alright with you?" The raven-haired asks Kenma, nudging him slightly while managing to keep an eye on the pair in front of them.

Kenma sighs, "I don't like her that way. She's a nice girl but," he pauses his game, "I wouldn't want to intrude on a healthy relationship."

Kuroo frowns, "But she's your soulmate..." He tried to bring up as quiet as he can. Luckily, neither you nor Sugawara heard.

The second-year setter ignored him.

With a sigh, he formulated plans inside his head to get you and Kenma some alone-time. You probably wouldn't be too fond, and neither would your boyfriend. Hell, not even Kenma, probably. But he was genuinely concerned for his teammate. He's never seen anyone have a soulmate until he found out Kenma had one- his own closest friend.

"So, Sugawara," Kuroo suddenly chirps into the lovebirds' conversation. "I really don't want to ruin whatever moment you two are having right now," he points at the two of you, switching between you and Koushi, gesturing to your hands that weer holding.

For such a sucker for a romance like this, Kuroo wanted to barf.

Sugawara swallowed, "Yeah? What is it?" He managed to choke out, not really in the mood to leave his girlfriend's side. God, he really thought he was a big pushover.

"Mind coming with me and buy myself a souvenir?" Kuroo jerks a thumb to the exit of the store, and just a few stores away was a gift shop.

Now this was really becoming way too suspicious. Koushi's eyes narrowed, "You're buying a souvenir..." He begins, eyeing the middle blocker intensely.

Kuroo didn't budge, only nodding in confirmation.

"A guy from Tokyo is buying a souvenir from Tokyo. Am I getting it right?" Sugawara rephrases, raising both brows.

"Well, what can I say, I'm a collector."

Kenma's piercing cat-like eyes were observing his actions, his mind working gears on what his captain could be planning. Was he actually planning on leaving him with you?

When it finally hit, Kenma was just about to stand up and volunteer to go in Koushi's stead, Kuroo had cut him off. "Kenma, order me a giant hot chocolate and wait it up for me. We'll be back real quick."

The pudding-head, in order to not raise any high level of suspicion in Koushi's mind (which wasn't worth doing anymore since the silver-haired setter had already been suspicious of everyone since the practice match), simply nodded and sat still on his spot with you in front of him.

Sugawara sighs, "Well, sorry I keep leaving your side, (Y/n)." Your boyfriend apologizes, kissing your forehead before pulling away with a soft smile, "I'll be back real quick."

And so, the two volleyball players walked away.

You were a blushing mess and Kenma noticed this. He just didn't bother telling you to avoid you denying that you were. 

"Is he usually like that?" 

You turned to Kenma, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You know... even though he's only going to walk away a bit from you, he's apologizing. Is Sugawara-san really like that?" Kenma asks, resuming his gameplay.

"It's one of the things I like about him, I guess... I'm into pushovers... I guess." You shyly admit, laughing a bit.

"... I really can't understand why we're soulmates." Kenma chuckles sardonically.

You tilt your head, pressing your lips together harder.

Kenma sighs, "Nothing." He shakes it off.


	11. bothersome

What was Kuroo supposed to expect, inviting your boyfriend out all of a sudden to buy himself a souvenir and leaving you and Kenma alone? Was he expecting you and Kenma to suddenly talk and smile and get over the whole thing already?

Obviously not. 

You know the guy isn't as dense as a rock to not know about how _you_ might feel. You were sure he had good intentions in mind but him continuing to meddle with your and Kenma's predicament, it felt unjust. It was between you and Kenma to settle the whole thing once and for all yet the middle blocker was making it _his_ business as well. Wasn't he burdened? Bothered?

You shook off the thought, turning to face the donut store's entrance, seeing no sign of the two still. The shop they entered in was literally across yours! Why were they taking so long?

It really did make you wonder if Kuroo was stalling Sugawara for both you and Kenma to talk things out about a solid plan how to break the news to your boyfriend, probably. How to keep you sane too. How to not ruin a potentially good friendship.

There were lots of things.

"Kenma," you started hesitantly, "give me your honest opinion." His cat-like eyes darted to you, his fingers tapping to pause the game. He urged you to continue with a nod of his head. He knew how serious this was. And with Kuroo and Sugawara miraculously gone for the meantime, why not make the most of it and _actually_ properly talk about it?

"Do you think we should force ourselves to be together? Or should we drop this whole soulmate thing and continue with our lives without having to see or talk to each other again?" You asked him, frowning.

Kenma already had an answer ready, "I don't know much about having a soulmate. But in my own opinion, we shouldn't do something as reckless as 'dropping the soulmate thing'. I know we agreed before to not talking to each other before to avoid any possible occurrences we don't want to happen." His gold orbs pierced through your soul. "Frankly, I think we should spend as much time together. Tell Sugawara-san the truth and choose me over your boyfriend. If destiny wills it, then I think it's better to just do it."

Although you were the one who asked him for his personal opinion regarding you both's predicament, it still hurt your heart to hear that he said it so bluntly. It was easy for him to think about since _he_ wasn't in a relationship.

But besides that, you get what he was trying to say. Ignoring his blank and calculating expression, you took a moment to think about it. On the internet, no one really made any blogs or shared what might happen if you avoid the inevitable.

Sudden death,

Gravitational pull,

Convenient meetups (like this one, you supposed).

There were lots of possible events that might happen if you try and ignore Kenma and continue living life as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. And after some time thinking about it, you really did believe that it was impossible to avoid it.

"Won't I look like a slut dating someone but in love with someone else?" It was meant as an innocent question but you asked this because it was possible.

If destiny said so, then the likeliness of you looking at Kenma as a romantic partner was high.

Would you be the one to end things with Koushi? Or will _he_ find out and break things apart between the both of you? It was terrifying to imagine your profound love for your boyfriend was soon going to fall apart.

"Of course not." Kenma sighs out, "If they were in your situation, they'd be just as confused."

"Would they be?"

"Yes."

You then cracked a grin, "Is that your way of cheering me up, Kenma?"

The pudding-haired faintly blushes, his brow twitching. He wasn't denying it either.

For some reason, you blossomed a soft spot for the boy.

Ah yes. Remember those days you silently cursed the boy for existing because he unintentionally ruined your life with a soulmate bond?

Now it felt like you and Kenma were close friends. Was this one of the many effects of having a soulmate?

You didn't know if this was a good thing or not.

"They sure are taking their sweet time though," you commented, referring to the two third-years who left the shop for a damn souvenir of his own city, "should we go check on them?"

Kenma pursed his lips in thought, "Knowing Kuroo, he probably meant for us to just stick together." He sighs, "He's meddlesome. I don't think I've ever seen Kuroo act so supportive."

You sigh with him, "Neither have I seen Koushi look so... apprehensive. You think he's on to us?" 

Kenma shrugs, "Most likely. Better to keep it down-low."

"But you just said it's better to tell Koushi...?" You trailed off.

His golden orbs turned to you softly, "That's only my opinion. It's up to you whether you want to or not. I respect your decision. Mostly because it's _you_ who's more affected."

Your heart swelled at his concern, smiling at him gently. "Thanks."

"It's nothing." The boy blushed before clearing his throat. "I think Kuroo's going to be leading Sugawara-san to a bunch of stores. Assuming that he does, I don't think they'll be back soon. In fact, with how cunning Kuroo is, I'm sure his initial plan was to leave us alone for as long as he can."

You nodded, "We should go then?" 

Kenma nods briefly before grabbing the paper bag of munchkins for you, peeking inside just a bit. "There's still a lot..."

"Yeah, I'll eat them later at home."

And so the two of you left the donut shop, venturing to go window-shopping. 

How did it even come to _this_? You took your cute boyfriend out on a date yet here you are spending the day with your soulmate.

"Say," you suddenly spoke up, grinning at the pudding-haired boy, "are there any arcades around here?"

* * *

"Gah, this is too difficult!" You whined, feeling the weight of the plastic gun drain your energy.

Kenma held his closer to his chest, smiling at you teasingly which looked extremely out of character for him. "Well, I wouldn't expect a beginner who grew up in such a small town to suddenly be an expert in this type of thing."

You laughed, "How are you even sure I grew up in Miyagi?" You said, using the gun to restart the game, inserting a pair of tokens into the slot.

"Aren't you?" Kenma shoots back, raising a brow.

"Well, you're not wrong..." You sheepishly say.

The zombie game went on for a few minutes before eventually your character died after blindly wasting your bullets on _nothing_. Fun.

You walked around the arcade and saw a variety of claw machines. You've always wanted to try them, even though many cursed the machines for being so 'unfair'. You turned to Kenma, "How many tokens we got left?"

He looked inside the pouch, "Just enough to last at least five more games, I guess."

"This is pretty amazing," you smiled, inserting a token he'd tossed your way since you can't touch each other into the machine, pressing and moving the buttons, "this arcade sells tokens at a cheap price, yet their games are really fun."

"There's nothing much here though... There's barely any people here." Kenma muses. "I'm sure you're just excited to be here since it's your first time."

"It's not your first here?" You ask him with raised brows, unsuccessfully getting the prize which was a small plush of a pudding. It reminded you so much of Kenma's hair. "Well, I shouldn't be surprised."

Kenma chuckles, "I come here almost everyday after school with Kuroo. I got bored after a few weeks so I guess this is my first time here in a long time."

"That's cool," You chirp before dropping the plush again, screeching like a banshee again, "Ah, dammit! I can't get it...!" You sulked.

The pudding-haired second-year watched you whine before sighing, telling you to move a bit (avoiding physical contact with you as much as possible). He took your place and his hands professionally moved the joystick and pressed on the button like a pro.

Because of this, he actually got the plush. He grabbed it from the prize slot and handed it to you without letting your fingers touch. With a soft smile, "This was what you wanted right?" he said, referring to the pudding-designed plush toy.

You blushed, grinning at him bashfully. "Yeah, thanks..." The two of you stared at each other in silence before you finally broke it, laughing. "We got a few more to spare. Let's go try that whack-a-mole thing!"

He loved hearing your laugh.

_You truly are a nice girl._

"Yeah, sure."

Kenma smiled.

...

This wasn't right. 

Oh god no, he was warming up to you. He was getting attached to you. It wasn't like this.

Kenma bit his bottom lip, he really didn't know if it was a good thing that Kuroo had left you here with him.

He really didn't know.

He just might actually fall for you.


	12. perfect

"Should we head back? Your boyfriend might already be there." Kenma noted out aloud, seeing you struggling to hold the stuffed toy he won for you and a paper bag filled with treats you swore to eat later at home while passing by a good-looking sweets store. He eyed the luggage, "Uh, you need help with that?"

You huff, "I don't...!"

"You do." He sighs, walking closer to grab the paper bag from you to lighten the weight. You, now only having to carry a medium-sized pudding plushy. Your fingers brushed against together and this caused both of you to drop whatever it is you two were holding.

The two of you seemed to have forgotten that making contact with each other meant another you two losing consciousness.

"Ugh, no, not again!" You grit your teeth, fighting the urge to fall on the floor right then and there. Luckily, you two were in an open space where not a lot of people enter since they prefer to enjoy the shops inside the mall. Your hands dropped the soft toy in your hands and gripped the sides of your head tightly, feeling a massive headache ruin your previously good mood.

Kenma was in the same predicament, trying not to fall asleep and experience another flashback. "(Y-Y/n)...!" He called out but it was weak and was unheard by you.

* * *

_Tulips bloomed around Amelia surroundings, a dainty smile on her face as she walked the pathway of her garden._ _"It's a wonderful day today too..." She muses with a hum._

_"Amelia!" A voice called out for her._

_She turns around, her platinum blonde hair swishing as she did so. Her gleeful cerulean eyes met with her loving husband's, a graceful smile on her face._

_"Kevin." She skips over to him and hugs him, peppering both of his cheek with kisses. "When did you get back from work?" She asks, her slender fingers tracing over his bedraggled jumper._

_The rather tall and lean muscular man chuckles, "Just now, but I couldn't resist not seeing you for another minute." He confesses, nuzzling his nose with his wife, sharing a gentle eskimo kiss with her._

_"You're such a romantic, Kev..." Amelia teases, grinning lopsidedly._

_"You love that about me!" He laughs, hugging her tighter and making sure not to press himself too tight to her so that he wouldn't hurt his pregnant spouse. "How's little Kevin doing?" The bespectacled brunette grins, glancing at his wife's belly lovingly._

_Amelia scoffs, "You mean little Amelia," she corrects playfully, "we're going to be having a daughter and we'll have tea parties whenever she wants." The blonde giggles, desiring a girl for their unborn child._

_Kevin releases his wife from his hold and crossed his arms, pouting. "But I want a man in the house! I'm the only man and the only one here who can move heavy things." He whined._

_Amelia rolls her eyes, "Stop being dramatic, darling, you're a lumberjack."_

_Kevin laughs, "Aw, don't be mad at me, Amy..." He teases, hugging her again._

_The blonde woman couldn't resist the smile slipping on her face. "I'm not mad, silly." She says, hugging her other half tighter than he._

_The two lived in a small but homey cottage far from the village, living a perfectly content life and earning just enough to get by. It had been three years since they got married and no problem has been too big to tear the two apart to reality. Now, their child was to be born soon. After two more months, their child will be brought into the world and become one of their greatest reasons to smile._

_The next two months, the baby arrived. Kevin was outside the operating room, nervous and worried for his wife who he wasn't allowed to see until the wife had finished giving birth. Eventually, the nurses let him in and he wasted no time rushing inside to meet his new baby boy, or girl, he doesn't care anymore._

_But what him inside was not just a child. It was his wife, smiling and crying tears of happiness, holding_ two _bundles of sunshine in her arms. One boy and one girl. Kevin let the tears fall from his eyes as he carefully took the male from Amelia, his arms shaking in fear of accidentally dropping a fruit of his womb._

_"Kevin..." Amelia smiles, "We have twins." She laughs, wishing to just throw her hands around her husband's neck and pull him in for a big hug but was, of course, unable to due to losing energy from pushing out two children from inside._

_Kevin cried, "Yeah... You're so strong, baby, I-I... I, oh god, I'm so thankful, so lucky. I-I love you so much. You, Margaret and Nathan." He says, remembering his lovely wife mentioning if ever they had a girl, they would name her Margaret. And if 'she' turned out to be a 'he', then they decided for Nathan._

_Amelia grinned so wide, her cheeks hurt. She was so happy._

_Nothing could ever ruin such a beautiful memory._

_Years passed by and before they knew it, Amelia and Kevin's children grew up; healthy and happy, with their children already wedded._

_Just like they wanted._

_It was too good to be true._

_Amelia began to cry then._

_Kevin followed, wrapping an arm around his wife._

_"I'm so proud of them," Fifty-year old Amelia sobbed into her husband's chest, a smile unable to resist from slipping on her face. "I'm so so proud..."_

_"We did well, Amy." Kevin couldn't help but cry too. If his son ever saw him like this, no doubt, the young fellow would laugh and slap his back as a mean of comfort. "_ They _did well."_

_More time passed and soon, the time came for the pair to go._

_Margaret cried and Nathan comforted her, tears spilling from both of their eyes as they watched their parents' coffins lower to the ground for a proper burial._

_They really were an amazing family._

* * *

Your eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the light and immediately shot open. You turned to face Kenma who was also steadily waking up. The two of you were on the floor, your heads leaning against each other. No one was around, thankfully. 

You stood up first, brushing the dirt off of you. For some reason, your head felt clear and free from any stress you were under just before the flashback.

And speaking of the flashback...

Your eyes met Kenma's, your gut fluttering. 

"Kenma," you said his name. His golden orbs looked over at you, "Wasn't that... the first time we got a happy memory?"

The pudding-haired boy stiffens, only noticing now. "... You're right. I wonder why."

"Well, we've only experienced three so far. It could be a random flashback." You hum.

Kenma sighs, "But this means that our link can't possibly be that bad. Some of them went horrible but this is a good sign, don't you think?"

You smile, "I know, but..." Your smile faltered, "I think knowing a happy ending is possible with you is kind of... scary."

Kenma knew your words meant no harm but he could not help the churning of his heart and his expression twisting into that of hurt because of what you said. "I figured so..."

"Kenma," you called again. 

The boy looked up slightly from his spot. "Huh?"

"I'm going to tell Koushi."

The pudding-haired boy's eyes widened as he sputtered, "W-What?!" He stood up immediately, trying his best to avoid grabbing you by the shoulders. "Are you sure? I thought you said--" Oh no, he was being out-of-character. He needed to stop.

"I know... I-I was insecure but I don't think I should be."

Kenma's brows furrowed, "Why the sudden change of mind?" He couldn't help but ask, but it's not as if he was complaining. He wanted this, didn't he? But that was only him, why were _you_ acting too?

"Because I trust you." You said firmly.

Kenma blushed a bright red, "Eh?"

You grin, "I chose to trust your word, Kenma. Of course, with the help of the memory. That memory was so happy, I think it's possible to have that kind of ending with you but," you determinedly face the second-year. "I'm not leaving Koushi." You said before your determined look crumbled into a pained one, "I just can't."

Kenma began to become confused, "Then what are you implying?"

"I'll make time for both you and him."

Kenma's eyes widened, "You mean-??"

You nod, "Yes, I'm going to date you and Koushi at the same time."

"(Y/n)?" A new voice cuts in, along with the nervous chattering of teeth. You and Kenma whipped to see Koushi who looked between you and Kenma suspiciously, his brows furrowing in sadness. "What's going on here? What do you mean you're going to date him at the same time?"

"Ah, shit." Kuroo cursed. Sugawara stood there, dumbfounded and shocked, his heart shattering as what unfolded in front of him seemed to be the unbelievable image of his girlfriend that he loved so much, planning to have an affair.

But Koushi couldn't get mad.

He really can't.


	13. heartache

Your eyes widened in horror, seeing your boyfriend looking beyond heartbroken and you could just _hear_ his heart shattering into a million pieces. Sugawara stood there, paler than his usual complexion and his eyes glazing with tears. Your heart thumped so loud, you could hear it and it was deafening your ear drums.

"N-No, wait, let me explain, Koushi..." You choked out.

The eighteen-year old shakes his head, laughing forcibly. "It hurts, (Y/n)..." He whimpered, although a strained smile was there to put _you_ at ease. "But it's alright, (Y/n). You don't have to tell me. I know you have your own reasons."

Your heart broke. Although his words were meant to relieve you of your stress from way back, it damaged your feelings even more.

What were you even _thinking_? Dating both Kenma and Koushi at the same time? Where had your brain went?

Even when he was on the verge of breaking down into tears, he was _still_ trying to comfort you. Why was he comforting _you_? 

You shake your head, breathing rapidly. "No, Koushi, it's not like that."

"(Y/n), like I said, it's really alright..." He walked closer to you, his footsteps light as he pulled you to him, hugging you tight but comfortingly. "I trust you, (Y/n)." You could hear his heart beating faster than an athlete running on a marathon. "I'm not mad, so don't cry." He softly tells you, hearing your choked sobs tempted to escape past your lips.

But then you just broke down.

Why were you breaking down, in front of Koushi, no less? Had you no shame? Declaring that you were going to be seeing Kenma as well, not just Kenma, right in front of your boyfriend for two years? Was destiny really so twisted to fate you with Kenma even though you loved Koushi with all your heart?

Was it worth it?

You cried, hitting Koushi and slapping his arms. "Why?" You croaked out, tears flowing from your eyes in pain. "Why are you so nice to me even when you're hurt? You're hurt because of me, I'm hurting you so much, why are you still holding me so gently like you still love me?!" You shouted, sobbing and hiccuping.

The silver-haired male soothed you by stroking your head softly. "Shh, it's alright... I'm still here..." His hold on you loosened but his arms remained embracing you.

"It's not okay!"

"Let it all out,"

"No... No! It's not right!"

"It's alright."

"Stop this, Koushi..."

"I'm not going to stop, (Y/n)."

Him and his vanilla phrases left you sobbing like a woman drinking all her problems away, except you were sober and still minor. You looked up, your tears already having stained his shirt. Koushi looked down at you with a smile and it hurt you so much to see him look at you like that.

You truly, genuinely did not deserve Sugawara Koushi.

Kenma watched your interaction with your boyfriend who lovingly rubbed comforting circles on your back, a strained smile on his face while you softly cried. His head was spinning.

Why were you supposed to end up with _him_? With a potential introvert, a shy and antisocial gamer who knew nothing but to stay at home and coop himself in his room and play games all day. He didn't stand out, except for his hair that was dyed and didn't have any interesting qualities he thought. He's not like your boyfriend in the least bit.

Yet you're so heavily attracted to him.

Just why?

**> >>**

  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Kuroo asks Kenma, his brows furrowed unsurely. The pair had already left the mall without _you_ knowing, but nodded to the silver-haired male anyway. Although Sugawara was shaking his head and wanted to leave more than anyone, he still remained by your side, even if it hurt.

"This is the best choice." Kenma sighs out, not able to deny that his heart was in pain that he was the biggest hurdle you and Sugawara's relationship will ever have to jump over. "(Y/n) loves Sugawara-san. I don't want to take him away from her."

The tall middle blocker scoffs, "Of course you don't," he says, pausing and stopping in the middle of walking the street, "but what about your so-called soulmate bond?"

"I chose to forget it." Kenma responded coldly.

Kuroo's eyes widened just a bit, repeating in disbelief. "'Forget'?"

"Yeah." 

"You don't mean that..." Kuroo narrows his eyes at his closest friend. "You like her, don't you?" His voice lowered. 

Kenma's eyes pierced right through the middle blocked and glared at him, "I don't." He snapped.

The ravenette was stunned, astonished that Kenma looked so hostile and so harsh. He had never seen that look directed at him, it was usually at a 'game over' displayed on his video game screen on a really difficult battle he was nearly winning over. That or at Lev who kept messing up. Either way, Kuroo was shocked when Kenma glared at him in such a heated manner, and honestly, it scared Kuroo.

"I'm going home." Kenma clicked his tongue, a habit he never really did unless he was very pissed.

"Wait, the train's almost here-" Kuroo tried to cut in.

"I'm walking." And so he went, stomping away and leaving Kuroo by himself to wait on the benches.

Now that Kuroo was alone, he had to think clearly now. Whether he liked it or not, he was involved, He made himself involved, rather.

He was concerned for Kenma, the boy obviously held some feelings for you. He wasn't even denying it. Yet he was putting your feelings before his. And then there's you who's in love with Sugawara Koushi. You obviously have no intention of leaving your boyfriend even if you planned to date Kenma at the same time, that was obvious from when you were clinging on to your boyfriend in tears.

He had no idea how to help, no matter how clear and free of anything his mind was now.

Kuroo groaned, feeling absolutely helpless. He really had no need to help you and Kenma get together. He put himself through this, why was he complaining _now_?

He'd never felt such stress until now.

Was it because he wanted to find his soulmate as well? Kuroo does admit that he envied his best friend for finding his soulmate and a part of him is irritated at Kenma for casually saying he was going to forget it. But he had no right to be angry. He wasn't put in Kenma's shoes to feel what the second-year was going through right now.

Kuroo sighs, "God."

_**"The train for _____ arrives in three minutes. Please stay away from the line to be safe."**_ The train station's system announced. 

Kuroo stood up from his seat begrudgingly. "That's my cue." He tells no one. "I'll think about this later." He says, walking to where the train would be stopping for a brief minute, his head heavy yet empty.

  
  


**< ><><>**

  
  


How was he supposed to handle this? He bit his bottom lip, resisting the urge to just crouch and cry. Usually, he wasn't one for showing his inner thoughts and emotions easily but he felt so much like crying.

Kenma's head hurt so much. 

_What was he supposed to do?_

He remembered you clinging onto the silver-haired setter and how you cried everything to him. It was obvious your relationship with him was something not so easily broken. You obviously trusted him with your life. You wanted him and only him.

No, Kenma didn't like you that way.

But he was definitely not a fan of the sight in front of him before.

He wished it was him you were crying your tears to. And maybe it was a bit selfish to ask, but really, he wanted you to leave Sugawara Koushi.

But how could he ask someone like you, someone so nice and happy with your relationship, to do that?

You didn't deserve that and Kenma was confident that neither did he.

So what was he supposed to do? Wasn't there any other way but to forget you and this whole soulmate bond? Obviously the two of you were meant to be bumping into each other and then fall in love, but it wasn't go as smoothly as destiny predicted.

There were so many mountains to cross over and Kenma can only handle so much. 

There were so many questions and he wanted someone, anyone, to answer them. At this point, he doesn't even care if the answers to his questions were wrong or not.

But he will never accept an incorrect one for the most important question.

_**Why were you, a nice girl in a perfectly stable relationship, destined to fall for someone like him, a quiet and timid boy shying away from reality and locking himself in his room 24/7?** _

He could never answer that.

Did _you_ even pause for a second to think about it? He wished you did. As cruel and selfish as it sounds, he wanted you to feel at least a bit of how he was feeling.

God, his head hurt so much.

**< ><><>**

  
Your head hurt from all the crying earlier. Your boyfriend already delivered to you the news that Kuroo and Kenma left already. Your heart broke a bit at the mention of Kenma's name.

Undoubtedly, you felt something for him, but you just couldn't leave Koushi for a guy fate proved to be the person you were going to spend eternity with.

You had no idea what to do anymore.

Koushi and you had already left the mall to avoid causing a rowdier scene. People from the mall's center had come to see the ruckus and surely enough, you were there sobbing to your boyfriend as if your innocence was taken away. But it was nothing of the sort.

Now, both you and Koushi walked along the streets, the lamps lighting up now that evening was approaching. 

"Koushi," you sniffled, "you're really not mad?"

The silver-haired setter rose a brow, his heart shattering at the reminder of what made you like this. 

"No," he sighs. "I really can't be mad at you, (Y/n)." He chuckles although it sounded forced. 

Then there was silence.

"I love you," Your heart palpitated at Koushi suddenly saying this to you. "I love you," he repeated softer than the first one, "which is why I trust you with all my heart. Whatever you're going through right now, I'll wait for the time you trust me enough to tell me." Koushi says.

You heard it. You heard it so loud in his voice. In fact, he _showed_ it. The sadness, the disappointment, the frustration, the stress.

He was sad you didn't trust him enough. He was disappointed in himself for not noticing earlier. He was frustrated having to see you cry multiple times without knowing why. He was stressed that he couldn't do anything but whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

You shake your head, your heart dropping a hundred meters down. "Koushi, no," you whimpered, "I trust you more than I do myself! Please don't say that...!" You cried.

The silver-haired male bites his bottom lip, his soft warm hands clasping yours. His eyes glazed something akin to pressure and self-loathe. "Then tell me," his voice cracked, as if his real feelings were only beginning to show now, "why were you hiding it from me?"

Your voice shook, "You don't want to know what the reason is?"

Why _didn't_ you?

It was because you were scared weren't you? And the only time you tried to confront him about it, you suddenly broke down into tears.

"I already know," he sighs, "Asahi told me."

Your heart stopped right then and there. "H-He did?" You stammered, feeling betrayed. "When did he tell you?"

He ignored you. "How come he knew yet I didn't?"

"I-It was an accident, Koushi-"

"Then _why_ didn't you tell me?" His voice was now serious, firm yet hoarse. His eyes glistened with so much emotion, you wanted to cry again. 

God, you were such a crybaby. 

_What made him stay with you even?_

"I..." You tried not to break down into tears. "I was afraid."

This had Koushi taken aback. He expected something else; like you not trusting him enough and you were just lying straight to his face that you trusted him wholly.

"What?" He breathed out, unable to process everything.

You inhaled deeply, "I," you paused, maintaining your calmness although your heart hurt so much already, "I was afraid you would leave me. I was afraid of how you would react. I was afraid that everything we went through together, wasn't meant to be at all. I was afraid of losing you and that I was meant to fall for someone else." You hiccuped.

You then went quiet. 

"I'm sorry." You said through gritted teeth, trying not to let the tears escape you.

Koushi was quiet, he didn't say a word.

"You don't deserve this, Koushi, you really didn't. It was because of me you're hurting so much seeing me cry. I'm so sorry, god, I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I-I deserve to die-" You were cut off by Koushi slapping you in the face after that.

Thankfully, the both of you were out of the public eye and you two could talk as loud as you want. The streets were empty and there were no people in sight. If there were, they wouldn't really try and meddle with a young couple's lover's quarrel.

Your eyes were wide and shocked, staring at your boyfriend in disbelief. "W-Wha-?"

His hands grabbed your shoulders and pulled you to him, hugging you tighter than ever, as if he loosened the hold on you just a bit, you would disappear. You couldn't breathe but it wasn't because he held you so tightly. It was because of how clogged your throat felt and your heart feeling like it was enlarging bigger than your rib-cage.

"Don't you ever say that." Koushi demanded, breathing in your earlobe. "I won't let you."

You felt tears springing up once more, you tried to say something. "Koushi-"

"I'm okay with you not trusting me, with you lying to me, with you cheating on me, I'm okay with anything." He cried, "Just don't say you deserve to die!" He shouted, and you felt his heart beat loudly on yours.

Why? Why was he still hugging you and telling you this even when you hurt him?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

_Why?_

_**Why?** _

So you fainted from the intense headache, hyperventilating all the while, faintly hearing Koushi yell your name out as you limped in his hold.


	14. a soulmate's purpose

You laid on Sugawara's bed, his hazel irises watching over your unconscious form. He was shocked, of course, who wouldn't be? Imagine seeing your girlfriend faint all of a sudden in front of you.

He finally settled and calmed himself down, bringing you into his home with much reluctance.

His parents weren't home, thankfully, which was easier since they'd probably bother him and suddenly ask things like what was on his mind and they'd beat the answers out of him by guessing. His reactions were very easy to decipher. He was an open book.

You have been to his home way too many times already but this was the only time he felt like the air was physically suffocating him. With his head out of the abrupt clutter of things, he gave himself time to think.

And the world ' _girlfriend_ ' just happened to stop his train of thought.

_Should_ he even consider you as such?

You had a soulmate.

He doesn't but he knows now that you weren't meant to be with him.

It felt like a big middle finger to all those dates and lovely moments he shared with you. So they meant nothing at all? Was that what destiny was trying to say?

He draws an exasperated sigh, his hand slicking back his gray hair in stress. He chuckles, strained, "Maybe this is why my hair's all gray..." He jokes to no one in particular, your calm breathing sounding relaxed that managed to get him back on track as well.

His bad attempt to make a joke was useless, as he quickly returned to being serious and thinking about it.

It wasn't just that; there was also you telling that pudding-haired second-year that you would be dating both of them at the same time. If that wasn't utter bullshit, then he didn't know what was.

After you broke down, he wasn't even sure anymore if you'll still proceed with your 'plan' or come clean and finally spill everything out like when you found out, although he already had an idea when, why, what, how, the questions were endless and Koushi wanted nothing more than to know.

It was selfish of him, yes, and he disliked being so selfish if it meant harming others. But he knew his limits and you doing whatever you want without his consent was hurting him. He wanted none of that, for both your and his own good.

Your eyes squinted shut as if you were in a nightmare, running from those monsters that kids dream about with coal-black skin and gooey mouths that frothed and melted. Your teeth bit your bottom lip in a whimper, catching the attention of the silver-haired male who flinches, seeing your distressed look. As much as he wanted to be angry right now, he couldn't find it in him to be so.

It was so extremely difficult, for some reason. 

He supposes he was just that helplessly in love with you. He didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but it soothed his nerves.

But not now, of course.

Your face was scrunched up so horribly, he was afraid it'd stay that way. What were you dreaming about? He wanted to know. 

Sugawara's pale hands shook your shoulders to wake you up from your nightmare, his brows furrowed in worry. In an instant, you jolted awake and you were panting heavily, sweat raining from your temple like bullets and your irises were diluted in shock and covered with tears. 

Turning to your side, you found Sugawara and released the most relieved sigh he had ever heard from you and hastily engulfed him in a tight hug. Your body was cold compared to his live and warm one, and his arms hesitantly wrapped around your back.

He hated this.

He was wrapped around your finger.

He knew you didn't do it on purpose, making him feel this in love. But he hated so much how he could just think he could forgive you for hiding secrets from him just by hugging him to death like this. Was he always so submissive like this? Or perhaps he felt a sense of security and alarm when he saw your expression so scared and wanted nothing more than to protect you?

Sugawara Koushi was confused, to say the least.

If ever you did choose Kenma over him, would he be hung up on you like this? Was the world really so cruel to leave someone immensely heartbroken after two soulmates meet and fall in love? Would _you_ leave him too? He loved you so much and he's never felt like this for anyone but you, and he's still young, maybe there are a lot more people out there who could stir him up like you did.

But it didn't feel right for him.

_Do some people have soulmates but the string just cut themselves off?_

_Was that possible?_

_Perhaps he had one and it was connected to **you** but at the same time, not at all._

"Koushi..." You whimpered, hugging him closer to you.

His heart shattered. A million fragments fell on the floor, vermilion and crimson, beating loudly as he turned pink all of a sudden. His nose sniffled, his eyes watering as well. 

_He hated that sound._

_He hated hearing you so sad and upset._

Hearing you broken and crying was the last thing he wanted to hear, even when you hurt him so much and even if you rained down spears over his body. Were you goading him, maybe? To hopefully stimulate a reaction out of him that will satiate your interests?

God.

He was so, _so_ in love.

_Love was not beautiful to him, but rather it was **you**._

"It's alright," he soothes you, his melodic voice entering your ears in an attempt to cool you down, "let it all out, (Y/n)."

You croaked, hiccuping all the while. "Y-You were there, Koushi..."

Teardrops fell and Sugawara's free hand raised to wipe away the never-ending tears you were shedding. It seemed like almost everyday you were crying and it tore him alive to see you look so puffy and red.

"You were there and you told me that it was time for me to let go of you, t-that you didn't deserve me!"

Koushi's hand limped to his side, his mouth just a tiny bit parted open.

You continued, tears streaming like a waterfall. "But if anything, Koushi, _I_ don't deserve _you_! Don't say such things! Why are you so damn nice to me!? You're too kind, so softhearted and I hate it!"

_Was that it?_

He should've taken it more carefully.

But your words stung him a lot more than he expected.

_Was his kindness going to be the end of your relationship after all?_

"Why do you always have to carry the burden for me!? I'm _not_ weak! I'm a crybaby but I'm not weak!" You shouted.

Sugawara's dominant index finger lifted up to your lips, shushing you effortlessly.

It seemed like you had an aptitude for crying, your face looked so beautiful even when you were looking so distressed and face full of fresh salty tears. Or maybe it really was just him stuck in his own wonderland?

"(Y/n)," his own voice echoed around his bedroom.

You turned to him, your eyes darkened and bags under your eyes were starting to become visible from all the crying.

_He could never and will never want to forget those eyes of yours; they were so bright and puppy-like that he loved it when you'd look up at him in awe or adoration. What happened? They were so dim and void of any gleam of light like before._

He breathes in.

_'Don't regret this, Sugawara Koushi.'_ He warns himself, already feeling the salty tears prickling the corners of his eyes. His heart was aching and his chest felt tight. The air was starting to get harder to breath in and he felt like he was running a hundred miles without a second of a break.

Biting his bottom lip so much, he forced out from his throat that was clogged with reluctance.

"Let's break up."

The room felt cold now, the temperature dropping to below zero degrees, perhaps, or maybe... again, it was just _him_.

"What?"

"It's time to let you go," he chuckles, sounding the complete opposite of what he was feeling.

Your head shook, to the left and right slowly, until it furiously continued that Koushi was afraid you'd get a migraine. "I don't want to! Why are you suddenly deciding that!?" You were fuming, but you were also crying. Your heart was in massive pain, just as much as the silver-haired male's.

He smiles at you, the prettiest smile you'd ever seen from him. But also one you'd never seen from him at the same time.

_Even when he was crying like this, would you still think he was the most reliable person you could come to?_

_That at your darkest moments, he was one you would lean to for encouragement and support?_

_Was he a good boyfriend, at least? Did he take care of you?_

_Sugawara wanted to laugh. Even at such a crucial and sensitive moment, he was thinking about himself._

_He wasn't kind._

_Not at all._

"Just _go_ , (Y/n)."

It was so hard not to release your ugliest face possible that screamed 'why's and 'no's. You were crying so much, you were going to get a huge headache in the next few minutes, maybe hours if you don't stop crying until later on.

"Koushi, don't do this...! I know what you're thinking!" You cried, breathing heavily. "Did everything we go through not matter to you at all!?"

_Of course it did. He treasured them all. You could even see those moments printed into pictures and posted on his cork-board above his bed. He would cherish them till his last breathe, even. He was willing to go that far. Even when, or if, he falls for another person, he will love you and will stand beside you._

_He loved you so much._

_But if the world refuses to put you two together, then he will be 'kind' to you one last time and end this relationship._

_It was starting to get toxic, he was mildly aware of how much he was spoiling you._

"Get out, (Y/n)." He cried as well. The smile was no longer there. He was wholly crying and still trying to keep his expression composed, but it didn't work. "I let you go, so just leave me alone." He grit his teeth.

He was so close to breaking down as well.

Him spilling a few tears was not even half the amount of pain he was feeling right now.

You looked at him one last time, your eyes glossy with tears. And with that said, with your remaining strength, you pathetically crawled out of his bed and out of his house.

You knew you'd be seeing him again at school soon, but that was the least of your worries.

Not now.

Now that you'd left him, Sugawara smiled.

And he fell to the floor, his knees weak, and he cried. His loud screams and crying reached your ears too. He was sniffling and sobbing down on the cold wooden floor, droplets of tears on the hardwood as he grit his teeth to restrain his whimpers.

He broke down, _finally_.

Yet even when he was this emotionally bruised, he knew he would force himself to stand up again to be there for you.

_What a toxic relationship, he knew it._

No wonder fate destroyed them.

* * *

Kenma had no idea what he was doing at the park so late. He told Kuroo he was heading home, yet he was still here, thinking and clouded with intense thoughts. His gaze lingered on the night sky littered with billions of flashing lights for stars, the picture above relaxed his nerves and he wanted to stay here a bit longer. 

Just a bit more.

That was what was planned until he heard footsteps. In a state of panic and alarm, Kenma's head shifted to face the right where he heard the source of noise. A silhouette was walking by slowly towards his dimly lit area and he grew defensive, standing up all of a sudden.

Who wouldn't be nervous, knowing not a lot of people would head to a park at night?

Soft sniffling thundered across the park, although it was quiet. It sounded like crying. 

Kenma felt his tense shoulders loosen, his defensive form relaxing considerably. He chose to sit back again, sighing out. Maybe a couple just broke up and this mysterious person was just crying their tears out. It was none of his business.

Not until the silhouette showed itself into the light and Kenma's eyes widened in stark shock, seeing you, his soulmate drenched in hot tears, shaking like a leaf and crying so much. He's seen you cry but he has never seen you pour out so much to this extent.

What had happened to you?

The last time he saw you, you were crying as well.

Did something happen between you and your boyfriend?

You choked, breathing heavily as you approached him. "Kenma..." You called, not even having the energy to be surprised anymore, but your tone of voice suggested you were unsure of how to react seeing him.

"What are you doing out here, (Y/n)?" His voice was soft and composed, unlike yours that was scratchy and hoarse from all the crying. It awfully reminded you of Koushi's. Perhaps the two were more similar than you initially thought.

"Koushi broke up with me."

Kenma figured so, he wasn't surprised. Your boyfriend was a good person and just by looking at him, he seemed like the type who would prioritize others over his own desires.

It was what made Kenma want to forget you and admit loss. He was no match to your boyfriend-material boyfriend. But just his great shitty luck, a few hours later, you declared it to his face that you were now single.

The pudding-haired male sighs, "I see."

You frowned, "May I sit next to you?"

"Do what you want."

And so the two of you sat there awkwardly. Your face was still coated with tears and Kenma, although originally deciding to _forget_ you, he brought out tissues from his backpack and put it on the space between the both of you, sliding it over to you to avoid physically making contact.

You hesitantly took them and blew your nose, and leaving some to wipe your tears with. "Thank you."

"No problem."

It was silent once more.

"Why are _you_ here, Kenma?" Your voice was dry and lacked the usual excitement. He felt dread creep his body. You were so stressed and he wanted to do something about that.

But he shook his head.

He chose to forget you.

"I was walking home... I got lost." He lied through his teeth.

You hummed, "Did you, now?" You apathetically respond.

After a moment of one last silence, Kenma stands up from the bench, concluding it was better to leave you alone and actually head to the dorm he shared with Kuroo if he was planning to forget you and everything involving you.

"I'm heading home. Can you get home by yourself?" He turned to you, asking but he wasn't even planning to lend a hand if ever you did answer 'no'. It was cruel to do so, and selfish as well, but wanted nothing more, really. He wanted to forget you. 

You turned away, "I don't want to go home. My parents are home this time."

Kenma knew what that meant but he said nothing about it. "Are you going to sleep out here then?"

You faced him, glaring at him. "Of course not," you tell him before looking away again, "I-I'll figure it out."

The pudding-haired male sighs, not really having it in him to ignore you. It'd be so cruel of him to leave you here in the dark where you could get mugged, raped or kidnapped. He didn't want that. Not to such a nice girl like you, or anyone for that matter.

"I'll let you sleep in our dorm. I'll text Kuroo to lay out an extra futon for you." He says softly, walking over to you and shoving his hands in his pockets. "You'll be sleeping in Kuroo's room though. Hope you're fine with that since we can't have either of us accidentally rolling around in our sleep."

You frowned, "Why are you inviting me at your place? You know you're playing right into destiny's hands."

Kenma looks away, "It's better than leaving you out here to probable death."

You shuddered and glared at him, "Don't say dark stuff like that."

He shrugs and starts walking. "Let's go."

And rather pathetically, you followed him. Your mind was still heavy with all the drama and situation with Koushi, but for now, you'll sleep it off.


	15. warmth like never before

You and Kenma took the train back to Tokyo. God, you were starting to get dizzy from all these back-to-back rides from Miyagi and the capital. During the bullet train ride, you and Kenma were both quiet. He sat on the far end on the row of seats left while you on the other.

But it didn't mean that both of you were comfortable about it. In fact, the atmosphere was so thick and hard to breath in around each other. 

"Kenma," you called softly. The pudding-haired hummed in response, letting you know he was listening. "Remember when you said that we should just focus on each other? And end things with Koushi? Do you think we can still do it?" Your voice was quiet, hushed in order to not disturb other passengers although there weren't a lot since it was already late.

"I don't know..." He responds reluctantly. "I already made a decision to forget everything..." He confesses with a sigh.

Your eyes watered just a bit but you kept them in. "I'm sorry..." Your voice shook.

The second-year male turned to face you, shocked. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Why shouldn't I?" You whimpered, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. "I've been nothing but an absolute jerk to you. I ruined your life, didn't I?"

Kenma neared you, scooting his butt closer to you. But he didn't touch you. "You didn't." He said shortly. "Oh, we're here." He says all of a sudden, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. 

You wiped away your tears hastily, shaking your head. "O-Oh. Right, I'm coming." You stammer, following him outside. Then the walk to his dorm was quiet. Much more silent than back during the train ride. It then hit you, "W-Wait a second..."

Kenma paused and turned to you, wondering what you had to say.

"I have school tomorrow..." You embarrassingly tell him.

He furrows his eyebrows. "I thought you said you excused yourself and Sugawara-san from school for a week?" 

_Oh. Right._

You blushed, feeling humiliation creep your insides. "I-I forgot about that." You shake your head. "What about _you_ then? Don't you have school?"

The pudding-haired male mumbled a 'yeah' and walked ahead. "But don't worry, I'll ask Kuroo to wake you up before we leave for school."

Then it was quiet again. You hated the silence between you two. It wasn't at all making you the least bit comfortable. With Kenma, you'd assumed silence was the language you needed to speak with him, but the quietness around you two was making you feel queasy and anxious. Maybe it was because he had become more talkative with you that you forgot he was a very quiet person in the first place.

You gathered your courage and swallowed your anxiety, your lips trembled and your voice shook, parting your lips just enough for your voice to call out to him once more.

"Kenma," you stopped walking.

Said boy stopped as well, turning his head a bit to look in your direction. "Hm?"

You bowed all of a sudden, your hair slanting down to cover your face as you bit your bottom lip. Kenma watched you bowing down, mildly surprised as his catlike eyes stared at you in curiosity. 

"What?" Kenma's lips parted slightly in surprise.

"Thank you." You spoke softly. "Thank you, _really_ , for everything."

The second-year male's forehead wrinkled at your sudden gratefulness. "S-Stand up..." He stammers, embarrassed that you were bowing practically your entire body just to thank him. He didn't do anything, he doesn't remember doing anything that'd earn this. 

You shake your head, refusing to stand back up. "I'm really _really_ grateful. I've been selfish, greedy, asking for too much and I never thought about your feelings. I'm sorry, but I'm also very thankful that you tolerated me and my stupid self so much."

Kenma listened.

Tears eventually started springing out of the corners of your eyes, your hands wiping them away hastily as you continued. "W-When I found out we were soulmates, I panicked and I completely blamed you but you weren't angry. When I was sad, you'd pick up on it immediately and comfort me, w-when I wanted advice, you'd tell me what you think. I-I just keep taking things from you without giving anything in return...!"

"I'm so thankful for you, Kenma!" You cried. "Thank you so much! Even if we've only known each for such a short time, thank you, thank you, thank you, _thank you_ , you've helped me so much and even now you couldn't ignore my pathetic self and bringing me to your dorm. I-I can't thank you enough, Kenma!" You cry out, tears you now let flow freely as you stared at him with that familiar red face.

The pudding-haired boy was astonished. And with how emotional the situation was being right now, he was also tempted to cry. But he didn't, thank god. He sniffled though and that caught your attention. Almost immediately, you stood back up and faced him, your mouth open in shock.

"K-Kenma?"

He turned away from you, "I'm not crying." He denies instantly.

"I-I never said anything..." You smile, still red in the face from bursting out your emotions.

Kenma pursed his lips, "I-I still wasn't crying."

"I know..." You responded, mimicking yourself from when he came to visit Miyagi by himself to see you.

And finally, the silence between you felt nice. All it took was you to explode and drop your feelings like a bomb, no biggie. Actually, it was a biggie, a very huge biggie. Now that you'd told him all that, did that mean you and Kenma would be closer than before now?

And Kenma said he chose to forget you.

You suddenly frown, "I-I'm sorry," ah, you were probably starting to annoy him from all your apologizing. "You said you didn't want anything to do with me anymore..."

The setter tenses, realizing that it must've stung you to hear him say that. He sighs and slowly shakes his head.

You smiled sadly, "It's alright."

"... (Y/n),"

You turned to look at Kenma who was biting his bottom lip. You were about to ask him why, about to ask what was wrong, but then he took a step towards you and shot you the prettiest smile you'd probably ever get from him.

He looked so relieved, so happy, so ethereal under the moonlight. 

And as poetic as that sounds, you truly did find him alluring when shone with the moon's light. You didn't know if it was your own thoughts or perhaps it was just another one of destiny's tricks. At this point, you couldn't care any more. 

"I'm glad I met you." He chuckles. "Even though not in... desirable circumstances."

Your eyes widened, tears starting to form on the corners of your eyes once more. "Kenma..." You whispered.

"You're really nice, (Y/n)." He smiles.

And that's when it finally snapped. You ran to him and hugged the life out of him, wrapping your arms around him, not caring if it'll make you two unconscious or whatever.

It just felt _right_ to hug him right then and there. And it did.

His body radiated warmth and you couldn't help but, once again, compare it to your previous boyfriend. You know you shouldn't, especially since he just broke it off with you and let you go. But you couldn't help it. Maybe that's why destiny ought to break you two apart, huh?

Koushi's hugs were affectionate, loving and kind, you could always count on him to excite you, to make you smile.

But Kenma's? When you hugged him, he was warm. And it wasn't that Koushi's hugs weren't, it was just that Kenma's specifically was the kind of warmth that made you feel safe, the kind that calmed you down, it felt right, and you felt like you could rely on him and tell Kenma all your secrets. Something you couldn't do with Koushi.

You shut your eyes, waiting for the moment you both fall to the floor unconscious for making physical contact. You waited and waited, still tightly holding on to Kenma.

You _both_ waited.

...

But nothing came.

Your heart raced and so did Kenma's in realization that nearly ten seconds have passed, but nothing happened. 

Your eyes peeked out and looked up to meet Kenma's catlike orbs looking down at you, a blush sprawled all over his face in embarrassment. 

"W-We're not dead, are we?" You stuttered, looking around you in panic, your arms still loosely holding onto him. 

Kenma didn't even hear you—he gulped, his heart thumping so loud and hard in his rib-cage that you were so close to him. This was the closest you two had ever gotten. Physical contact with you was graceful, gentle and barely even touching. The only time you two had touched other without much reluctance was earlier this day.

That was it. 

"We're not..." He responded and only now did _you_ realize how close you were to him, his voice just a whisper to your ears. You stiffened and whipped your head to face him, and be it destiny's work or whatever, but you could not deny how pretty he was so close.

Your eyes widened at your thoughts and before you could even think, you pushed him.

You shove him back in panic, the both of you quite pathetically falling to the floor on your bottoms. Your faces were red but his was much brighter. He has never been hugged by a girl besides his mom, after all. And you— you almost couldn't believe yourself. 

After a _breakup_? Really? You almost felt like vomiting, just to ruin the moment, but it was true. You felt sick to the stomach.

Why didn't _it_ happen?

Was it because you were no longer in a relationship? Or was it that you and Kenma had a sentimental moment?

Either way, it made you pale after blushing a cherry red. 

Kenma had already stood up, dusting himself off the dirt and avoiding eye contact with you, evidently embarrassed and flustered. He obviously held _some_ kind of feelings for you, the loud beating of his heart was enough to let him know what that feeling was, but he wasn't going to voice it out aloud just yet.

Not now.

When he turned to you, he noticed how you were still on the ground. He neared you and stuck out a hand to help you up, still red in the face and on the tips of his ears. But you didn't take his hand. 

He blinked, perhaps you were cautious and you weren't sure it'd work a second time. Heck, Kenma himself wasn't sure either, but he was willing to try.

"(Y/n)?" He called, now frowning. He crouched and tilted his head to see your face, but he was mildly surprised to see you resisting your tears again. You were very disappointed in yourself, Kenma could see you mentally scolding yourself. He grabbed a hold of your shoulders, shaking you lightly.

Nothing happened.

He sighs a bit in relief and then returns to shaking you slightly. "Hey..." You didn't respond. "(Y/n)?" His voice was soft, gentle and in a whisper, hoping to not overwhelm you. Whatever what it was that was going on in your head right now, he was sure he'd never know unless you tell him.

Then you suddenly leaned forward, your head resting on his shoulder. Your wet tears drenched his shirt, and while it made him uncomfortable, he let you soak his shirt with your tears. You needed a shoulder to literally cry on.

Kenma, this time, reluctantly made a move and stroked your head gently, his other arm wrapping around you to comfort you. 

"C-Can we stay like this for a while?" You whispered, sniffling. "I'm sorry, I'm relying on you again..." Your voice cracked.

Kenma shakes his head, "No, it's okay."

And so you two stayed there. You were kneeling and he was crouched on the ground. You were crying and he was comforting you. 

This was basically your daily life with Koushi and you genuinely appreciated your ex's love for you, but for some reason, it felt different with Kenma. He was more warm, in a way. 

And you knew it had something to do with him being your soulmate.


	16. feelings

You spread the comforter onto Kenma's room's floor in embarrassment. Kuroo didn't want you in his room, reasoning that because you and Kenma were soulmates, you two should be trying to be together, not the mess that you two are right now.

Kenma didn't even bother putting up an argument, he was too lazy and too tired to do so. And you don't think you had the right to interject, you were just a guest after all.

Kenma was showering right now, changing into more comfortable clothes. You felt deja vu creep up your spine. It felt like just yesterday it was Kenma who was sleeping over at your own house. Wow.

Who would've thought destiny loved pulling this shit on you both?

"Hey," Kenma's voice shook you out of your empty trance. You didn't hear him enter the room. You turned to him, kind of surprised that he was done taking a shower already. "Are you done laying out the comforter?" He asks, drying his pudding-like hair with a peach-colored towel.

You nodded, "Yeah, I'm just about to."

"Oh, okay." He mumbles. "You can take a shower if you want."

"I don't have a change of clothes." Your brows furrowed, a frown settling on your face. "My clothes and necessities are in the hotel."

Kenma's lips parted slightly in realization and understanding. "Ah, is that so?" He then walked towards one of his drawers and pulled on the handle. He took a random shirt and some shorts before showing it to you. "Here, I think it'll fit."

You took it from him, a smile on your face in gratefulness. "Thank you," then a blush procured your cheeks, "b-but uh,"

"What is it?"

"... undergarments." You hesitantly tell him with a bright red blush.

Kenma didn't react immediately. But the moment he did, his blush was heavier than yours and he gulped audibly.

"O-Oh, undergarments..." He quickly went back to his cabinet and dug out some boxers, embarrassingly handing them to you (almost throwing them) as he quickly put an unused towel on your head. "There, go shower now...!" He hastily pushed you out of his room and didn't even bother listening to you.

You look down at the clothes in your hands—a shirt that was about your size (obviously because Kenma didn't have a big body in the first place), shorts that would probably reach a little below your knees and boxers. Well, you could survive a night without a bra.

* * *

You finally spit out the remains of the frothy toothpaste you kept brushing your teeth with (of course, with a brand new toothbrush you got from Kuroo who claimed it was supposed to be his new toothbrush but you could have it). You exited the bathroom and opened the door to your soulmate's room, surprised that he was there on the floor.

"Uh, Kenma?" You called, earning a hum in response.

The pudding-haired second-year was lying on his sides, playing a video game console on the comforter you laid out. The bed besides the mass of blanket you laid on the floor was empty, but well-arranged and tempting to bounce on.

"What are you doing there?" You ask him.

He rolled over to face you, pausing his game. "I'm sleeping here." was his answer.

"W-What? But I thought you were sleeping on your bed?" 

Kenma only gave you a smile, "Consider it payback."

Your thoughts drifted off to when you let him sleep on your bed despite his futile attempts to convince you that it was your bed. So _this_ was how he felt during that time.

"You sure? I wouldn't want you to wake up with sore muscles..." You hesitated, knowing how bad it might hurt for the rest of the week. 

"I've laid on the ground a lot of times, don't worry." He reasoned, plopping again to lie on his sides. "Just rest easy tonight."

You knew he was worried about you, especially since you'd been crying nonstop. You felt kind of pathetic—no, you felt _really_ pathetic. But you smiled, nodding and going over to his bed. Your nose picked up on the scent and it smelled of Kenma very much unsurprisingly. It gave off the aroma of apple pie and cinnamon. A weird combination, but it felt welcoming nonetheless.

You pulled the blanket to your chest, making yourself comfortable before laying on your sides to peek at Kenma.

He noticed this, of course. He was such an observant boy.

"What? Is it uncomfortable?" He asks, his fingers still tapping onto his gaming console.

You shake your head slightly, simply staring at him with soft eyes. Your staring though has caused Kenma to turn red a bit, his fingers tapping on the pause button before making eye contact with you as well.

"(Y/n)..." He called and you propped your elbow, your chin resting on your open palm to be less stiff as you waited for him to continue. "Are you still sad?"

His voice was soft, almost melancholic when he asked you. 

You had to take time to answer— you didn't know if you were. You were definitely sad about Koushi breaking things off with you all of a sudden, but strangely, it didn't hurt as much now. It felt like all the tears you spent crying over Koushi was for nothing and _that_ hurt much more than him leaving you. Were you a bad person for thinking so?

Which led you to the question now—when did it start?

Was it when you finally hugged Kenma? Did it mean you two finally accepted you both were soulmates and were in a point where you two would be willing to start anew?

You didn't know if it was a good thing but oddly enough, it made you feel safe. You honestly couldn't keep up with this. You two were practically seventeen years old, still minors and you both were experiencing this much load of drama in your life? It felt surreal.

"Not anymore, I think." You responded, almost as soft as a whisper.

"Huh..." He muttered. "I am."

You turned to him curiously, "You're sad?"

"I'm sad I'm confused." was his short reply.

You frowned, "Confused about what?"

Kenma finally shut off his game, deciding to play it tomorrow rather than now. He turned to you, his gold caramel-like contacts meeting with yours and you felt your heart leap a little when he did.

"My feelings for you." 

You felt a frown pull itself onto your face, sad eyes now watching him. "What do you mean?"

Kenma sighs, "I told myself I'd forget about you."

You waited for him to finish.

"... but I couldn't." He clicks his tongue.

You were somewhat relieved—it betrayed your shocked face because inside you were actually pleased to hear him say that. It meant a lot to you, for some reason.

Because you two were soulmates, maybe.

"Hey, tell me honestly, (Y/n)."

You waited in anticipation.

"Do you feel something for me too?" His voice cracked at the end, as if he was afraid of asking you. As if he was afraid of getting rejected.

Was this destiny's plan too?

You had frozen, not knowing how to answer.

You didn't hold any feelings for him, and knowing Kenma, you were sure he'd never bring this up again if he was too embarrassed to. He was insecure and probably had anxiety issues, so you struggled to come up with an answer.

You didn't want to lie to him.

"... I think you're warm." was what you said.

"... What?" Kenma turned to you, expecting many things but _that_ answer was not one of them.

You smiled, "I think you're warm." You repeated. "I trust you, Kenma, but there's no feelings yet, unfortunately."

The pudding-haired boy didn't say anything for a long while. He was quiet.

" _'Yet'_?" He echoed, slightly surprised. 

Your face warmed at your choice of words, "A-Ah, I mean—"

"I see, well... that's good." He smiles, rolling over to face the other side and leaving you hanging on what he meant. It was pretty obvious but you didn't know if it was because of your answer that probably left him grinning inside or that you implied there was still a chance you might like him back.

"Kenma?"

"Goodnight, (Y/n)."

"W-What? Don't leave me hanging here..." You trailed off, getting no response. You heaved a sigh, your lips turning into a smile.

"Goodnight." You softly whisper.

You both slept well that night— free from any bad dreams or anything. Just a dreamless sleep that left you two calm and quiet.


	17. almost dreamlike

The week was almost coming to an end, and in two days you would be taking the train back to Miyagi. Your head thought back to Sugawara. You wondered how he was faring. You were currently in the hotel you were supposed to share the rest of the week with your boyfriend with, but well, everyone knows it didn't end up very well.

You grabbed your backpack, stuffed the small compartment with the clothes you brought, your toothbrush, wallet, phone and whatever else you deemed necessary to bring with you back to your hometown.

You shuffled your way downstairs and took the elevator down, seeing Kenma sitting on one of the hotel lobby's couches with his gaming console out.

You tapped on his shoulder to let him know you were done. With a small tilt his shoulder, he looked to see you. He sighs in relief. 

The flashbacks weren't coming back to you two at all. 

It was slightly jarring and still disturbing.

"Hey, you're done?" His voice that you'd come to feel safe with asks you, putting down his Nintendo Satori **(*)** down and smiled at you softly.

"Yeah, hope you didn't wait too long." You returned the smile with your own, thankful for his presence and patience.

Their classes had just finished for the day so he was currently in their uniform, getting odd looks from passersby since the pudding-head was, after all, a student. It should go without saying, especially since there's a girl with him.

Kenma took it upon himself, even though you knew he wanted nothing more than to rest on his bed all day and play his favorite video games or whatever, and accompanied you to the hotel you and Koushi were supposed to be staying at for the week. 

He stood up and walked next to you, putting his game console inside his own backpack. The both of you exited the mini-hotel (of course not until you logged out of the reception book that held your record). You two waited for the bus to take you to the train station that'd later drive you back to Miyagi.

Finally, a bus arrived and you both comfortably seated yourselves at the near back with you on the window-side. You both were pretty quiet, still and unresponsive to one another.

Well, that is until you open your mouth.

"Kenma," you called sheepishly and he hummed to let you know he was listening, "uhm, about your feelings..."

He perked up, stiffening as red coated his cheeks in embarrassment. He didn't mean to let his emotions spill last night after all. It was just on the spur of the moment—yeah, it was like that.

"Ah, that..." He trailed off, not sure how to proceed with the conversation. "I-I was just..."

"Feeling sentimental?" You guessed when he took too long to finish his sentence. Kenma flinched before slowly relaxing, nodding at you. You chuckle.

"Yeah, I think so." Kenma mumbles. "I'm more curious about why those _flashbacks_ stopped haunting us."

You smiled coyly, "' _Haunt_ you'? I feel sad now."

Kenma whipped his head to face you, shaking his head. "Wait, no, that's not what I meant!" He was shaking his head in denial while you tried not to grin so wide at how cute he was reacting.

"I'm kidding," you giggle, "I'm glad we're talking like this right now, Kenma." You admitted, a smile shy on your lips. "I'm really glad we can now touch each other without having to worry about the consequences."

The pudding-head stared at you and he knew it was going to sound insensitive, but he wanted to know. He wasn't desperate, perhaps just a little too selfish for his own good. That was so unlike him.

"I'm glad too." He speaks up then gulps. "What about Sugawara-san?"

You were quiet, not responding immediately. A smile was still on your face but it appeared melancholic now. "... I'll talk to him soon."

"You won't leave him hanging, won't you? He loves you." Kenma asks, hoping you would finally put a closure to you and the silver-haired setter's relationship. From what he heard after all, the breakup wasn't very satisfying nor fair. In fact, it felt forced and pressured. 

"I-I know, it's just..." You trailed off, biting your bottom lip in anxiety. "I'm scared if I talk to him again in private, I'll end up saying certain things and then later on, we'll be back to being potential strangers."

Kenma listened to you—heartbreak wasn't something to be taken lightly. He's never experienced having a relationship with someone before. You were the first, after all although he's not sure if he could consider you and him in a relationship since technically in the first place, you two were only connected because of the soulmate bond.

But he knows how dangerous it is to be in a relationship; it's like walking on thin ice. One wrong step and he'll fall inside the cold and freezing water.

And you and Koushi seemed to both fall to the water and simple _froze_.

"Don't worry, take your time." You hear him reassure you. You sigh in relief, smiling at him gratefully. 

Koushi did that too, you noticed. Telling you to walk at your own pace and don't let things bug you because it's easier if you do things when you're calmer, but it felt nicer to hear it from Kenma. You were sure it had something to do with him being your soulmate as usual.

"I will, thanks." You chuckle. "I have a bone to pick with Azumane-kun first. He said he'd keep it secret, or at least I told him to. I don't know when he told Koushi, but I'm giving him a piece of my mind." You sighed.

Kenma stared at you with a tilt of his head, "Your team's ace, right?"

You nodded, "Yeah."

"So he told your ex, huh..." He drifts off.

You shrugged, "I don't blame him, but it kinda sucks he spilled it sooner than I expected. I was hoping for when I'm mentally ready, but I guess not." You sounded lighthearted and Kenma honestly found that cute.

He wanted you to always sound and _look_ happy. You looked prettier that way to him.

Kenma blushed, knowing what he's going to do next will get him a hard smack across the face, but he did it anyway, gambling with his luck percentage and leaning his head on your shoulder with a quiet 'plop' from him. He pouted a little, a blush smoothly covering his cheeks and radiating the warmth you've come to love.

"L-Let me stay like this for a while." He stutters, looking somewhere else in embarrassment.

You were startled at his sudden affection, but your heart warmed anyway at his endearing actions, opting to stroke his head like you'd do Koushi's.

But in this case, instead of receiving an embarrassed expression, you got a soft and relaxed smile. 

That won your heart.

"Sure." You smiled. "It'd be a while before we see each other again, I think." 

Kenma cuddles more by your neck, feeling comfortable next to you. A smile curls on his face fondly, "You really are a nice girl..."

You giggled, "I know."

* * *

You both arrived at the train station after walking a little bit more from the bus stop. Kenma woke up embarrassed since he accidentally slept on your shoulder, but you assured him it was really alright (you snapped photos of him because he looked really cute on your shoulder dozing off with soft snores).

It was currently six in the evening and the last train to head to Miyagi would be arriving soon. Kenma was next to you, nearly falling asleep. You smiled at his dazed expression, patting your lap. 

"Do you want to lay on my lap while we wait?" You gave a quick glance to the digital clock hanging near the ticket booth. "We have ten minutes to go."

"No," he refuses with a childish pout (you tried not to squeal and hug him right then and there), "if I sleep now, I might probably never want to wake up again." He mumbled.

You giggle at his excuse, "Come on, I'll make sure to wake you up."

Kenma eventually gave in and plopped onto your lap lazily, finding the warmth your thighs provided easily relaxing and nice to feel. He could've been embarrassed, but he was already too tired to care. Usually, he stays up late to play games he finds on the internet but today, there was just a lot of travelling and he felt sick.

Your dominant hand was softly petting his head, playing with his slightly long hair and loosening strands that were tangled and messy.

"(Y/n)?" He called again, looking up at you expectantly.

"Hm?"

"I think I like you." He finally confesses. 

You stopped petting his hair, your hand paused in mid-air at his sudden confession. But unlike when you shook in nervousness when you first confessed to Koushi, this time you felt at home.

"... Hmm, I think I will too, Kenma."


	18. to let go of someone

It was another day and another day in Miyagi (finally) meant you would be seeing your (now) ex, Sugawara Koushi, on a daily basis. And things weren't going so well for the you—only you. Though you knew deep inside the silver-haired male was hurting a lot just like you were.

Although the third-year setter was keeping himself on check more than you were, there was no denying the sadness those gentle brown orbs of his.

The more he stared at you, the more he felt like pulling you into his arms just to keep you close.

He wanted you back.

But there was no way he was going to force you to be with him. No way in hell.

"Suga?" Daichi snapped him back to reality, his dark eyes looking at the vice-captain in curiosity as he looked back and forth between you and him. "Did something happen between you and (L/n)?"

Sugawara stiffened, forcing a smile to curl onto his face. "What do you mean, Daichi? Nothing's going on."

Perhaps a little too literal. There was nothing between them anymore. He broke it off.

The captain still eyed him suspiciously. "Did you two get into a fight or something?"

That stung Sugawara more than he could've ever thought. It hurt a lot. It wasn't _just_ a fight, it was a fucking breakup and it was killing him inside.

He still continued to smile, making it more convincing.

"No, I just don't want to bother her since she seems so busy nowadays." He smiled, his eyes glazing with wetness as if he was tempted to cry right then and there.

But he resisted it.

* * *

You murmured to yourself, biting your bottom lip in anxiety. Your insides were about to explode in nervousness and panic. You planned to tell him today. You were going to put a proper closure to your and Koushi's relationship once and for all because you finally decided to accept fate as it is.

But your hands were shaking.

Your knees were trembling.

Your voice refused to cooperate with you.

Even now as you practice in front of a damnmirror, you were having trouble looking at it in the eye. 

Your breathing was fast an rapid, as if you just raced against the fastest runner in the world and won.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and even after you did so, you were still frozen on your feet.

"(Y/n)-chan?" Kiyoko's voice brought you back to Earth. You turned to her reluctantly, your brows creased in worry.

"Y-Yes?" You squeaked out.

Ever since you broke down in the gymnasium where Kiyoko had to accompany you to the restroom, the third-year manager had grown worried for your mental health, and just you in general. And from the bags under your eyes as well as the redness and puffiness, your complexion that was noticeably getting paler every day she sees you.

She think it's safe to think that you weren't taking care of yourself properly, as well as lacking sleep. She was worried, naturally.

"Is there something wrong? You can tell me." She spoke softly in order to not scare you away. 

Kiyoko hoped you trusted her enough to tell her what was going on. But she knew she wasn't that close with you. That didn't mean she stopped worrying though.

You smiled and Kiyoko noticed it was strained. Her heart pinched at the sight of it, her frown growing. 

"I'm alright." 

_'Stop lying, you're not.'_ Kiyoko thought, her heart hurting.

What could possibly be going on your life right now that's been a secret for like a month already? Or maybe even more than that? Who knows how long this mishap has been going on for. 

You were only a young seventeen-year old and you were one of the kindest people she's ever met. She wanted to help you.

You buttoned up your blouse, closing your locker shut as you left the changing room wordlessly.

Kiyoko was very worried. Everyone was. They just didn't want to surround her.

They wanted you to take a breather for once.

Especially after you broke down.

You sighed as you exited the locker room, pressing your lips together in sadness and disappointment. You were worrying your upperclasswoman, you're so stupid. If only you'd hidden it better, maybe you could've avoided rising suspicions.

But it wasn't as if you could stop them anyway, not after you cried in Koushi's arms that one time in the middle of the court.

They were only worried and looking out for you, you knew that. They were your friends.

Heck, even Tsukishima hoped to get some answers out of you out of concern.

You sighed, _'I really need to do this now or never...'_ You tell yourself. If this went on any longer, both parties will only hurt more. And it'd be your fault.

It's not like you can ask Kenma to do this either, obviously that's a big no-no.

And if you really wanted proper closure or the correct way to end you two's relationship, then it was only right you say what you wanted to. You didn't want Koushi hurting, you never wanted that for both him or yourself.

God, you really hated Destiny.

But you supposed without it, you've never gotten to know Kenma at all.

Then it made your wonder—if you and Kenma talked to each other without actually initiating physical contact, would you two have grown as close as you two are now?

...

Yeah, no, that was stupid.

It was impossible, or maybe it was but you just couldn't see it happening. Especially more so since you two were _soulmates_.

The word 'soulmate' no longer bothers you.

Perhaps it's because you've moved on?

Or maybe you've accepted and come to terms with it?

Or you liked Kenma now?

Whichever it was, you were... kind of glad.

The more you thought about these things, the more you realized you were walking to a damn wall. A _wall_. God, that was embarrassing. Your forehead hit the cemented building of the gym and you yelped slightly in pain.

"God," you whined, rubbing the spot that was hurt, "what a load of crap..."

"D-Do you need a band-aid?"

No. _No fucking way._

It was like the gods out there wanted you to suffer or something.

The last person you wanted to see, or maybe the very first, you weren't even sure anymore! This whole thing was messing with your head and seeing Sugawara dressed once more in his familiar black uniform as his bag was slung over his shoulder made you want to crawl into a hole and die.

His kind brown eyes looked at you worriedly, his right hand raised slightly as if he was going to touch the injury but refrained from doing so.

You turned to face him slowly, your eyes making contact with his hesitantly. "Koushi..." You called his name and you saw him frown.

"... Hey." He responded, walking over to you, not sure if he should actually be approaching you.

You averted your eyes immediately.

That hurt him.

"(Y/n), can we talk?"

And like always, he's stronger than you. Here you are, hoping to open your mouth and ask him to talk in private, in _person_ just to bring your relationship to an end and stay being friends instead.

Yet, like always, he was better at picking himself up than you.

But that wasn't the case at all.

His knees were buckling and about to give in. And if you didn't respond to him now, he'd probably cry again like a fool.

He sucked in air, about to add, 'never mind', but before he could speak, you cut him off.

"I-I was just about to ask you the same thing." You stuttered.

Sugawara's lips parted slightly in surprise. You wanted to talk to him too?

Why? 

"Let's go somewhere more private then," the setter tells you, nodding his head over to the direction where not a lot of students go—a secluded area behind the school.

And after you two walked over there, none of you still said a thing.

It was quiet.

Only the sound of cicadas and birds chirping were heard, yet to the both of you it was utterly _deafening_.

"Koushi—"

"(Y/n)—"

The both of you spoke at the same time.

Both of your eyes widened in embarrassment. 

It felt like you were still a first-year head-over-heels for this man who would also be graduating this year. It felt like you were confessing to him once more.

Like you were at the starting point again.

But it was actually the end.

"You first," you gesture to him.

He shakes his head though, "n-no, I feel like _you_ should say what you need to first."

You stared at him a little while longer before sucking in a deep breath.

This is it.

There's no going back.

Kenma's face flashed in your head momentarily.

You forced yourself to stand brave, your eyes now glaring at Koushi determinedly.

"Koushi—I want to properly end our relationship." You spoke up.

Koushi remained silent, waiting for you to finish.

You stood your ground. "You were kind to me, loved me, treated me like a princess—no, a queen and I felt so special and lucky because I had you always supporting me in every way."

Koushi stood still, letting you finish.

"I loved you a lot, there's no denying that."

Koushi was still standing straight, he wanted you to finish.

"But I realized the harsh truth is," you choked back the sob, "I-I realized..." tears were beginning to well up in your eyes.

It took nearly everything in Koushi to not brush away the tears that were prickling the corners of your eyes with his thumb. 

He still was standing in the very same spot, his expression morphing into a sad smile.

"I realized we really weren't meant to be."

Koushi wanted you to finish. He _needed_ you to finish.

"Kenma was warmer, Kenma was more reliable, I trusted him more, I easily told him my fears and secrets... Y-Yet it took such a long time for you and I—" You crouched all of a sudden, your hands covering your eyes as big fat tears rolled down your cheeks in sadness, feeling heartbreak all over again.

Because if you didn't finish what you needed to say, Koushi knew he would still be clinging onto you—his first girlfriend and first love. He'd still be hung up on you.

"I knew that you weren't the one... I'm so sorry," you sniffled, forcing yourself to build back that courage from earlier as you looked up at him, "but we're over."

Koushi finally smiled.

He smiled at you, crouching down and giving you that million—no, that billion-dollar smile of his that you loved so much.

Tears were also coming down his cheeks as he smiled at you. His hand caressed your cheek lovingly, his thumb now wiping away your tears. 

"Thank you for being honest with me, (Y/n)." Sugawara smiles softly, before pulling you in for a tight hug. His grip on you was tight but gentle, desperate but willing, emotional and tiring.

"I love you."

You bit your bottom lip in an attempt to push away the tears. But they came crashing down like a waterfall, a relieved and sad smile curling on your face.

"... I love you too, Koushi. But it's time to let go."

And he will.

Just let him stay like this for a moment.

Just one last time.

Before he finally lets you free.

He almost wanted to laugh—for someone who was a big crybaby, it pleasantly surprises him to know that you were the one who wanted to end it for sure.

You've really grown.

His hold around your neck tightens, a grin slipping onto his face.

Koushi was right, after all. He was right in letting you speak first before him.

If he spoke first—missing you and refusing to let go of you— he had a hunch you'd regret pulling him aside to properly end this relationship.

You'd never grow with him.

One last time.

The hug felt cold now, it was no longer warm.

But it was the kind of cold that numbed the pain.


	19. relief

The parting was quiet but reassuring; tearful but relieved; it was nerve-wracking but appreciated. You bid your relationship with Koushi farewell on good terms. 

You were currently on the phone, texting Kenma that you ended it for real—no more sad or depressing thoughts will hold the both of you back anymore and you were free to do what you want.

It was nice telling your soulmate these things until he made you want to hide forever with a single text:

**kenma:**

_you're free now, right?  
...  
can i take you out on a date?_

You tried not to scream so loud right then and there. Your parents had gave you an earful (your mom especially) after you got back from the 'week-long trip to Tokyo' you lied about to your school and even scolded you for bringing along Koushi to your dumb plans and skipping school, even if you were 'excused'.

Your cheeks were warm at his sudden boldness (honestly you liked it), but you couldn't imagine what face he was making right now. You knew Kenma had made it a bit obvious to you that he _liked_ liked you, so you wonder wonder if he was confident or happy to have asked you out so suddenly or maybe blushing in embarrassment to have texted you something so uncharacteristically romantic of him.

Nevertheless, you truly did find every inch of his attempts adorable.

A silly excited grin replaced your previous tired expression as your fingers tapped on the keypad happily.

**you:**

_name the date and place_ _👀_

**kenma:**

_hehe :)  
i'll come to you_

You would've smiled giddily at his cute smiley emoticon but instead, your brows furrowed in pure confusion. _'He'll come to me?'_ Didn't school just end for them too? He wasn't going to _actually_ appear at your school's gates, was he? Someone slap you across the face if he did.

And because life really does hate you (this scene being your proof), you spotted Kenma was over there at the campus entrance in his bright red Nekoma jacket, leaning on the gate's bars for support and you were quite sure it looked uncomfortable. His hands were, as usual, holding onto his phone and his expression looked... serene. At peace.

You smiled softly at the sight of him, walking over to him with your backpack's straps looped around your armpits for security, walking over to him excitedly. 

"Kenma!" You waved at him, beaming.

The pudding-haired male looked up slightly, his catlike orbs meetings yours before a small smile made its way to his face. "Hey." He greeted softly.

You finally stopped walking, your form right in front of him as you gave him the peace sign. You dropped the weird pose and simply smiled at him. "So, what brings you here all of a sudden?"

"I-I thought I said I wanted to take you out on a date..." Kenma fumbled with the sleeves of his jacket, embarrassed to be saying it out loud. "Kuroo said it was a good idea for me to skip club today, if you're wondering. He said it's a good chance for us to, you know..." He trailed off from there, his ears faintly red at the suggestiveness his friend brought up.

You thought it was very innocent though—Kuroo only wanting you two to fix things up and be closer to each other since it started off horrible between you two. But to see your soulmate so embarrassed from something so simple, it made you want to cuddle him.

Except, you hesitated since you were still kind of wary of your body dropping to the ground and falling into a state of unconsciousness like Kenma. It had been multiple times already where you two had initiated physical contact, but it was still making you uneasy.

Kenma could read you like an open book, his piercing amber contacts scanning your slightly nervous form. Then those eyes of his traveled down—your hands were fiddling with each other and with a bright red blush to his cheeks, Kenma swiftly took your hand, his own warmth sent your way and giving you a sense of reassurance and security.

It was warm. It felt nice. His own small hand was probably smaller than yours, even. His hand held yours, tightening just a bit as if he was making sure it was alright.

You both felt like you were the only two people there at the moment, your faces were brightly red.

_'He's holding my hand...'_ You pressed your lips together, blushing as you enjoyed the warmth his hand delivered to your colder-than-usual skin.

Nothing still happened—just you two relishing in the fact that you two can hold each other like this now.

Why did you two suddenly catch feelings for each other? It hasn't even been that long since you found out you had a soulmate. Did Kenma ever stop to think about it too? Or did he wave it off and simply rolled with what he felt? No. Kenma wasn't that careless, or stupid. You were sure he'd have thought about it at least once or twice.

You smiled.

You held his hand a little more tightly now, giving it a soft squeeze. Kenma turned to you as he pocketed his phone in his jacket's pockets, blinking at you.

He smiled.

You both smiled at each other.

You liked moments like these.

Finally, he let go. and you find yourself missing his soft skin and cozy warmth that his hand had.

"There's nothing to worry about."

You trusted his words so easily.

* * *

The both of you went to that very same ice cream parlor you took him to when he went to Miyagi to visit you, because he wanted to talk things out. Now that you were thinking about it, this was also the place he suggested the both of you stop talking if you didn't want to leave your boyfriend.

Look where that got you both.

You almost laughed, it was almost funny. 

"You're like a rose..." Kenma's gentle voice brings you back to Earth. You glanced at him, a brow raised in curiosity at his simile.

"'A rose'? Why so?" You hummed, stirring your milkshake in interest as you looked at him with a calm smile.

"... you're really pretty." He mumbles softly, averting eye contact with before he even got to finish that sentence.

The blush on his face was prominent but yours was glowing even brighter. You shuffled you awkwardly in your seat, feeling beyond embarrassed from his dumb one-liner that you were already sure Kuroo made up himself on-the-spot to impress you.

It certainly didn't impress you, but hearing Kenma say it _for_ you left you a melted puddle.

That didn't mean you didn't find it funny though. A short giggle escapes past your lips and Kenma slowly turned to you, his forehead wrinkled in nervousness at your reaction. However, upon immediately seeing the amused smile on your face, Kenma's expression turned to relief as he slowly but surely faced his body to you again, his blush prominent on his face as he observed your every detail.

You sipped on your milkshake, relishing in the sweetness before returning your attention to your soulmate. "Kenma, when you said you thought you liked me..." You brought up, causing Kenma to snap his focus to you, his face erupting into flames at his half-sleepy state that time and mumbling whatever he thought was fine that time.

"Huh?" He murmured, blinking rapidly as your face heated up.

"S-Sorry, that was... assumptive of me..." You trailed off, your hands frantically waving in front of you both in panic, sounding slightly disappointed at the end.

Kenma picked up on it—typical of him to not let something so small get past him. "I-I'm not saying I don't..." He stutters, eyeing you from his peripheral vision to see your reaction. You were timidly blushing at his claim and a tiny smile was curving at your lips.

Kenma sighed in relief, knowing you weren't angry or whatever. "So, you ended things with... Sugawara-san?" He said his name reluctantly, making sure you weren't going to flinch or incur a reaction that'd tell him you were uncomfortable. To his relief, you didn't. You were fine and you only smiled at him.

"Yeah. Honestly, I feel sad..." You smile, melancholic at the memories hitting you all at once. "I've been with him for a year and to suddenly leave him because I..." she paused, pressing her lips together, "I fell out of love." Your smile faltered. "I feel like I'm betraying him, I even told him I loved him and that weighs on me a lot."

The pudding-haired male listened to you quietly. 

"But it's not as... sad as I thought it was. Or maybe it's really just because we were never meant to be." Your voice cracked. "I feel like I cried for nothing." You finally said it.

You felt selfish. Instead of feeling guilt for falling out of love, you felt guilt for wasting tears over _nothing_.

It made you feel like utter trash that there was the slimmest of slim chance that you never really liked Koushi at all as a romantic partner, that maybe all your dreams and thoughts of loving him for eternity were nothing but simple infatuation. That you wasted days, _weeks_ even, crying about how you we

You groaned, "I feel bad..." 

Kenma hummed, "Why?" He asked that question, yet he knew exactly the reason why. You were practically an open book. It didn't help your case either that you were very open about your feelings. It just so happens that Sugawara didn't notice—the pain yes, but not the cause. Though, that was on you too for not telling your boyfriend.

"Do I have to answer that...?" You groggily replied, sighing in disappointment.

The pudding-haired male chuckles lightly. "Sorry, you don't have to answer it if you don't have to." His fingers curled slightly as a blush dusted his cheeks in embarrassment before opening his mouth again. "Uhm, (Y/n)..."

You turned to him with curious eyes. "Yeah?"

A small smile curved on his lips. "You really loved your boyfriend so I'm really happy you're giving me a chance." He pressed his lips together in embarrassment. "... even if you fell out of love..."

"Kenma," he raised his head to see you brightly grinning at him—his ears turned and so did his face, pursing his lips as he stared at you softly smiling at him, "I'm glad too."

The pudding-haired setter felt nothing but a wave of relief washing over him. He was glad too. He was glad he didn't let you go so easily.

You're really a nice girl, and he's so glad he's a part of your life.

God, was he so thankful.


	20. finding happiness

Dazed, sleepy and uninterested. Kenma couldn't focus as he stared at the blackboard their teacher was writing on. He was thinking about something else. _Someone else_. A smile painted his lips as your smile passed through his mind.

God.

It felt like just yesterday the both of you were both panicking on what to do next, although Kenma was far calmer than you could ever hope to be.

He didn't even consider the chances that he'd be this smitten with you. What was it about you anyway that left him stunned? 

Perhaps it was your eyes? They shone with excitement and then flicker back to sadness. They would cry almost everyday and Kenma had to watch you cry multiple times, fresh salty tears rolling on your cheeks as you cried to him about how you hated this whole soulmates thing.

Maybe your lips? Rosy and (thin/plump) lips. Always wide into a grin, a smile, parted to chuckle or giggle or laugh about something. If not, they would pout, they would quiver, they would frown. He wanted to know what it felt like to have those lips kiss his forehead. He loved forehead kisses the most.

Your voice? Your voice sounded so lighthearted but then would make him so worried whenever you whimpered. He wanted to listen to you all day if he could.

Your hands, when they wrapped around him that one night and he felt his soul fly from his body in pure shock. Even if your skin didn't touch him directly that time, he felt so _so_ warm in your hold. He wanted to be patted on the head everyday too.

It was so unlike of him to think of someone this way. Or maybe it was just because this was his first time liking someone—it was funny. It would always probably be funny to him how quickly he fell for you. In just a few measly weeks, it sounded so stupid and absurd.

He thought his will would have done him better and stayed strong but no. He wasn't as quiet and chill anymore.

Kenma's daydream was forced to a halt when his teacher's voice snapped him back to reality and the pudding-haired male wanted nothing more than to hit his head on the window beside him and jump out.

"Kozume-san." The teacher sounded impatient. Yeah, he was probably going to get scolded, which didn't happen often.

Ah. Whatever. He's too tired to think of a plan to get out of here.

* * *

Kenma was in a hurry to get out of there —his classroom, his shoes skidding to a stop in front of the gym in a white shirt and some shorts. He placed his bag near the bench and saw Kuroo, walking over to him in his usual slouched posture.

"Kuroo," he called. Said captain turned to his childhood friend curiously before grinning.

"Oh? You're looking kinda fresh there, Kenma. Did something good happen?" The ravenette teases.

Lev popped up quicker than everyone. "Kenma-san is happy?? Yaku-san, you should try to do that too—" The half-Russian male suggests before getting whacked on the head.

"Lev, get back to practicing!" The third-year libero points to where Yamamoto was before making his way to where both Kenma and Kuroo were. "But seriously though? You look really happy Kenma. Something happen yesterday or something?"

The pudding-haired second-year flashed a glance towards Kuroo who simply gave him an 'okay' sign. Ah. Their teammates doesn't know about his soulmate yet. Kenma ought to introduce you to them one day, even though they already knew you by face.

Moving back to Yaku's question, Kenma had to think for a while.

Was he happy?

He certainly wasn't feeling down or stressed. He's been lighting like a light bulb these days but it wasn't a lot. He'd say it's pretty normal. Kenma just felt... like himself. There was nothing different, he thinks. It's just another day, except you and him are kind of dating now. 

At the thought, he felt himself blush.

Yaku and Kuroo rose a brow—the latter already had an idea.

Kenma remembered you and he was pretty whipped for you, period. And when his insides fluttered with nothing but a comforting warmth, he realized there was something different. 

He was happy, and content. But with you sliding into his life, it would be better.

Kenma blinked repeatedly, facing something else and making his way to the hamper full of volleyballs. He tilted his head slightly.

"Yeah, I'm pretty happy."

* * *

You smiled at Hinata, handing a dry towel for him to wipe away his sweat to which he thankfully accepted. You then proceeded to give a towel to Asahi, then Nishinoya and Tanaka who were sparkling and crying. You were so _happy_ today, you honestly didn't know why.

Or maybe you did, you just refused to take notice of it.

But why would you hide it anymore?

You broke up with Sugawara, in good terms thankfully. Kenma and you weren't going to get those weird flashbacks of someone else's life. Plus, you and Kenma were kind of unofficially dating now. 

Speaking of. Were you and Kenma dating?

You weren't even sure. But for some reason, even if you two weren't official, you still found genuine comfort in just being around him. Was this the result of being with your soulmate? You felt selfish—to be leaving Sugawara for your soulmate, not even bothering to consider his own feelings.

It was odd.

You'd always thought you'd have eternity spent with your ex, yet look at you now moving on from him as you decided to take your next steps with Kenma. _Someone else_. You truly, genuinely, honestly didn't think you'd ever like another person but Koushi. 

After all, who could be a better boyfriend than Koushi? Koushi who was already charming, kindhearted, generous, caring—the whole package a girl could ever want. So when Kenma entered her life, revealing himself unintentionally as her soulmate, she was bound to feel stressed or upset, disappointed even.

After all, the only man she ever thought would be hers was Koushi. As she was his.

But yet, her outlook now... She no longer thinks that way. When Kenma entered the picture, she found her eyes always looking at him now.

She was pretty happy.

"What's got you so happy, (L/n)-san?" Takeda asked with a smile, enjoying that their co-manager was having such a good time especially after certain events that must never be mentioned again.

You turned to your teacher with a beam, your eyes spelling nothing but happiness. Sugawara noticed that and he felt himself smile.

"I'm just really happy!"

Only Sugawara had an idea why you were happy aside from yourself.


	21. destiny

Destiny was a piece of shit—you learned that the hard way, experiencing nothing but utter heartbreak since day one. But realizing it now, perhaps destiny had its own way of bandaging up those problems.

You lost someone, but you gained another.

You cried, yet they were heard.

Thus they lent a hand and helped you back up.

And here you are again, smiling brighter than ever.

Did you sound selfish? Not even considering Sugawara's feelings when you finally confronted him? How did Kenma feel too? Was he happy?

You definitely were.

You were so happy, you could kiss the ground and eat the dirt.

No kidding, you'd probably actually do that.

Probably.

"(Y/n)?" Kenma's voice snapped you out of your dazed stupor, turning to him in curiosity. His piercing gold-eyes stared at you strangely as he observed you looking at nothing in particular.

What was so interesting about a little plant? Kenma wondered, your eyes now diverting from said plant.

You stiffened, a crooked smile plastering itself onto your lips. "Ah, sorry... were you saying something?" 

The pudding-haired male shakes his head. "Nothing much. I was just asking if you wanted to get taiyaki." He says, pointing at a nearby stall.

Your lips parted slightly before nodding at him with a smile. "I'll pay then."

Kenma was about to refute but your wallet was already out and ready to pay the man behind the stall. How'd you get there so fast?? 

"Two taiyakis please, custard-filled." You handed the man two-hundred yen and he thanked you as you did to him, handing you two paper bags of the freshly baked treats.

You handed your partner his and he took it, muttering a 'thanks'. The both of you sat on one of the benches in the park, quietly eating your snack. You turned to him bite onto his own, smiling as he blew on it first before taking a cute munch.

Kenma, however, noticed your staring and he ceased from biting onto the taiyaki bread again. A blush spread his cheeks from your watchful eyes. "Is there something you need?"

"No, I just like staring at you."

Kenma wanted to say something back—he didn't care what, as long as he said something. But instead, his face turned an impressive amount of shade of scarlet from your honesty. What was he supposed to say? 

He pressed his lips together, "Is that so?" He murmured, unsure how to respond.

Your smile only widened though, leaning back onto the seat as you looked up at the orange sky. The sun was beginning to set.

"I never did see this coming though." You couldn't help but confess. " _This_ entire thing. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Kenma nodded slightly. He knows. At first he was also stressed about the whole thing—having to fall unconscious every time you make contact with your soulmate. Plus the fact that you had a boyfriend. That was just so fucked up, wasn't it? And to you, it meant you had to break up with your boyfriend. The boyfriend you loved so much—Kenma knew it wasn't even 'like' anymore.

At the thought, his head tipped down slightly. "Do you still like him?"

You turned to him and Kenma did his best to avoid meeting your eyes. He imagined if he met yours, you'd find out how he was feeling.

You didn't answer him, staying completely still. Kenma started to get nervous, even if his face didn't show it. 

Did you still like Sugawara after all? But you ended your relationship right? Were you having second thoughts and regretting to choose him in the end?

Kenma opened his mouth to dismiss his question. But before he could say a single word, a warm hand enveloped around his own and the pudding-haired second-year almost immediately felt safe and fluttery inside. A blush coated his cheeks realizing that it was your hand that intertwined with his.

A smile painted your face, soft and glowing.

"I like you."

Kenma's heart burst from relief and happiness, looking away from you in embarrassment. His hands tightly squeezed yours.

"I like you too."

Perhaps destiny did turn your life a living hell, but in the end it gave you Kenma—warm and caring Kenma. You could only look forward to what the future has in store for you two as soulmates.

You grinned at him, earning another blush from him as the pudding-head smiled in return.

Even if it's hard and tough, that you want to give up. In the end, everything happens for a reason.

_**fin.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story was a disappointment AHHH - IM SORRY !! REREADING THIS MADE ME CRINGE SO BAD
> 
> but thank you for reading <33 ilya


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